Television / Simpsons Blackboard openings

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Can you name the real Simpsons blackboard openings?

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Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
Eating my vegetables is not a Mother's Day present
I will not run businesses out of my locker
The poop deck is not what I think it is
I will not believe what I hear on FOX News
I will not tease Fatty
I will not sell cough syrup shots
The cafeteria meatloaf is not 'Soylent Green'
The capital of Montana is not 'Hannah'
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
They are laughing at me, not with me
I was not the sixth Beatle
I did not shoot the sherriff (or the deputy)
The pencil sharpener is only for pencils
I will not yell 'Fire' in a crowded classroom
I will not try to unionize my classmates
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
I will not waste chalk
This school does not need a 'regime change'
I am not the voice you hear in movie trailers
The hamster did not have 'a full life'
My butt does not deserve a website
Life is not a cartoon
I will not commit crimes for the 'street cred'
Dodgeball stops at the gym door
Nobody reads these anymore
Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
Graffiti is not an art project
Does any kid still do this anymore?
I will not sell the school's chairs for scrap metal
I will not sell teacher's house
The school is not just part of the Matrix
I will not sell my kidney on eBay
Tony Danza is not my uncle
Nobody stays the same age forever
Network TV is not dead
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
I will return the seeing-eye dog
I will not fake seizures
I will not practice tap dancing on the principal's car
I am not Sparticus
I will not carve gods
Vampire is not a career choice
I will not submit anonymous complaints to the school board
I will not collect taxes from the second graders
I do not like green eggs and ham
I will not snap bras
I will not leak the plot of the movie
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
I do not get paid overtime for detention
I will not post fake homework assignments
I will not pledge allegiance to Rupert Murdoch

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