Simpsons Blackboard openings

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Can you name the real Simpsons blackboard openings?

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Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
My butt does not deserve a website
Dodgeball stops at the gym door
Does any kid still do this anymore?
I will not tease Fatty
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
I will not carve gods
This school does not need a 'regime change'
I will not sell my kidney on eBay
I will not practice tap dancing on the principal's car
The cafeteria meatloaf is not 'Soylent Green'
I will not submit anonymous complaints to the school board
I will not believe what I hear on FOX News
I will not post fake homework assignments
Tony Danza is not my uncle
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
I will not sell cough syrup shots
I will not commit crimes for the 'street cred'
I will not waste chalk
I did not shoot the sherriff (or the deputy)
I do not like green eggs and ham
I will not sell teacher's house
Life is not a cartoon
I will not fake seizures
Graffiti is not an art project
The poop deck is not what I think it is
Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
I will return the seeing-eye dog
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
The hamster did not have 'a full life'
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
I am not the voice you hear in movie trailers
Nobody stays the same age forever
Vampire is not a career choice
The school is not just part of the Matrix
I will not sell the school's chairs for scrap metal
I will not run businesses out of my locker
Nobody reads these anymore
I will not leak the plot of the movie
Eating my vegetables is not a Mother's Day present
I will not collect taxes from the second graders
The pencil sharpener is only for pencils
The capital of Montana is not 'Hannah'
They are laughing at me, not with me
Network TV is not dead
I will not snap bras
I was not the sixth Beatle
I do not get paid overtime for detention
I am not Sparticus
I will not pledge allegiance to Rupert Murdoch
I will not try to unionize my classmates
I will not yell 'Fire' in a crowded classroom

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