Simpsons Blackboard openings

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Can you name the real Simpsons blackboard openings?

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Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
This school does not need a 'regime change'
Eating my vegetables is not a Mother's Day present
I will not commit crimes for the 'street cred'
I am not Sparticus
The poop deck is not what I think it is
I will not practice tap dancing on the principal's car
I will not try to unionize my classmates
The hamster did not have 'a full life'
Dodgeball stops at the gym door
They are laughing at me, not with me
Vampire is not a career choice
I am not the voice you hear in movie trailers
The capital of Montana is not 'Hannah'
I will not sell my kidney on eBay
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
The pencil sharpener is only for pencils
I was not the sixth Beatle
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
I will not carve gods
Does any kid still do this anymore?
I will not snap bras
I will not fake seizures
I will not pledge allegiance to Rupert Murdoch
The school is not just part of the Matrix
I will not leak the plot of the movie
Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
I will not tease Fatty
I will not waste chalk
I do not like green eggs and ham
I will not sell the school's chairs for scrap metal
I do not get paid overtime for detention
My butt does not deserve a website
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
I will not run businesses out of my locker
I will not post fake homework assignments
Nobody reads these anymore
I will not yell 'Fire' in a crowded classroom
The cafeteria meatloaf is not 'Soylent Green'
Nobody stays the same age forever
Tony Danza is not my uncle
I will not sell cough syrup shots
I will return the seeing-eye dog
Graffiti is not an art project
I will not sell teacher's house
Network TV is not dead
I will not submit anonymous complaints to the school board
Life is not a cartoon
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
I will not collect taxes from the second graders
I will not believe what I hear on FOX News
I did not shoot the sherriff (or the deputy)

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