Simpsons Blackboard openings

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Can you name the real Simpsons blackboard openings?

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Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
I am not Sparticus
I will not pledge allegiance to Rupert Murdoch
I am not the voice you hear in movie trailers
I will not waste chalk
I will not commit crimes for the 'street cred'
I will not leak the plot of the movie
My butt does not deserve a website
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
I will not sell the school's chairs for scrap metal
I will not carve gods
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
The hamster did not have 'a full life'
I will not snap bras
Does any kid still do this anymore?
Nobody reads these anymore
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
I do not get paid overtime for detention
I do not like green eggs and ham
The pencil sharpener is only for pencils
I will not submit anonymous complaints to the school board
I will not tease Fatty
The poop deck is not what I think it is
Tony Danza is not my uncle
I was not the sixth Beatle
Nobody stays the same age forever
Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
I will not run businesses out of my locker
I will not sell cough syrup shots
I will return the seeing-eye dog
I will not sell my kidney on eBay
I will not yell 'Fire' in a crowded classroom
I will not try to unionize my classmates
Eating my vegetables is not a Mother's Day present
I will not believe what I hear on FOX News
The school is not just part of the Matrix
I will not post fake homework assignments
I did not shoot the sherriff (or the deputy)
I will not sell teacher's house
Network TV is not dead
Dodgeball stops at the gym door
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
I will not practice tap dancing on the principal's car
Graffiti is not an art project
The cafeteria meatloaf is not 'Soylent Green'
They are laughing at me, not with me
Life is not a cartoon
I will not collect taxes from the second graders
Vampire is not a career choice
This school does not need a 'regime change'
The capital of Montana is not 'Hannah'
I will not fake seizures

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