Simpsons Blackboard openings

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Can you name the real Simpsons blackboard openings?

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Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
I will not sell teacher's house
I will not yell 'Fire' in a crowded classroom
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
I will not sell cough syrup shots
The capital of Montana is not 'Hannah'
I will not believe what I hear on FOX News
This school does not need a 'regime change'
Vampire is not a career choice
I am not Sparticus
I will not leak the plot of the movie
Tony Danza is not my uncle
The cafeteria meatloaf is not 'Soylent Green'
I do not like green eggs and ham
I will not submit anonymous complaints to the school board
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
Does any kid still do this anymore?
I was not the sixth Beatle
I did not shoot the sherriff (or the deputy)
Graffiti is not an art project
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
I will not run businesses out of my locker
I will not collect taxes from the second graders
I will not waste chalk
I will not try to unionize my classmates
Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
The hamster did not have 'a full life'
They are laughing at me, not with me
Eating my vegetables is not a Mother's Day present
I will not pledge allegiance to Rupert Murdoch
I am not the voice you hear in movie trailers
The pencil sharpener is only for pencils
I will not snap bras
The school is not just part of the Matrix
I will not commit crimes for the 'street cred'
I will not sell the school's chairs for scrap metal
I will not carve gods
My butt does not deserve a website
I will not sell my kidney on eBay
Nobody stays the same age forever
Network TV is not dead
I will not post fake homework assignments
I will not fake seizures
I do not get paid overtime for detention
I will not tease Fatty
Life is not a cartoon
I will not practice tap dancing on the principal's car
Nobody reads these anymore
I will return the seeing-eye dog
The poop deck is not what I think it is
Dodgeball stops at the gym door

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