Simpsons Blackboard openings

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Can you name the real Simpsons blackboard openings?

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Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
Eating my vegetables is not a Mother's Day present
I will not leak the plot of the movie
I will not sell the school's chairs for scrap metal
Tony Danza is not my uncle
I am not Sparticus
Graffiti is not an art project
I will not practice tap dancing on the principal's car
The hamster did not have 'a full life'
I will not snap bras
I will not waste chalk
Life is not a cartoon
I will return the seeing-eye dog
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
I will not try to unionize my classmates
My butt does not deserve a website
I do not like green eggs and ham
The pencil sharpener is only for pencils
I will not collect taxes from the second graders
I will not sell cough syrup shots
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
I was not the sixth Beatle
I will not commit crimes for the 'street cred'
I will not run businesses out of my locker
I will not tease Fatty
I will not carve gods
Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
Vampire is not a career choice
They are laughing at me, not with me
The capital of Montana is not 'Hannah'
Network TV is not dead
The school is not just part of the Matrix
I will not yell 'Fire' in a crowded classroom
I will not fake seizures
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
The poop deck is not what I think it is
I will not submit anonymous complaints to the school board
This school does not need a 'regime change'
I will not believe what I hear on FOX News
I did not shoot the sherriff (or the deputy)
I will not post fake homework assignments
I will not sell teacher's house
Nobody reads these anymore
Does any kid still do this anymore?
I do not get paid overtime for detention
I will not sell my kidney on eBay
The cafeteria meatloaf is not 'Soylent Green'
I am not the voice you hear in movie trailers
I will not pledge allegiance to Rupert Murdoch
Dodgeball stops at the gym door
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
Nobody stays the same age forever

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