Simpsons Blackboard openings

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Can you name the real Simpsons blackboard openings?

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Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
I will not sell my kidney on eBay
I will not try to unionize my classmates
I will not tease Fatty
Does any kid still do this anymore?
I will not practice tap dancing on the principal's car
I do not get paid overtime for detention
Life is not a cartoon
The pencil sharpener is only for pencils
I will not run businesses out of my locker
I will not snap bras
They are laughing at me, not with me
Tony Danza is not my uncle
I will not yell 'Fire' in a crowded classroom
I will not submit anonymous complaints to the school board
The capital of Montana is not 'Hannah'
I will not sell cough syrup shots
I will not waste chalk
Network TV is not dead
I will not leak the plot of the movie
I will return the seeing-eye dog
I will not commit crimes for the 'street cred'
I will not fake seizures
I do not like green eggs and ham
I did not shoot the sherriff (or the deputy)
Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
I will not believe what I hear on FOX News
The hamster did not have 'a full life'
I am not Sparticus
I will not collect taxes from the second graders
Vampire is not a career choice
I am not the voice you hear in movie trailers
I will not pledge allegiance to Rupert Murdoch
Graffiti is not an art project
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
I was not the sixth Beatle
The school is not just part of the Matrix
I will not sell the school's chairs for scrap metal
This school does not need a 'regime change'
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
I will not sell teacher's house
Nobody reads these anymore
The poop deck is not what I think it is
The cafeteria meatloaf is not 'Soylent Green'
I will not post fake homework assignments
My butt does not deserve a website
Eating my vegetables is not a Mother's Day present
Dodgeball stops at the gym door
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
Nobody stays the same age forever
I will not carve gods

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