Simpsons Blackboard openings

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Can you name the real Simpsons blackboard openings?

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Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
Network TV is not dead
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
I will not carve gods
I did not shoot the sherriff (or the deputy)
Does any kid still do this anymore?
I am not the voice you hear in movie trailers
I will not yell 'Fire' in a crowded classroom
Vampire is not a career choice
My butt does not deserve a website
This school does not need a 'regime change'
Dodgeball stops at the gym door
I will not run businesses out of my locker
The school is not just part of the Matrix
I do not get paid overtime for detention
Life is not a cartoon
I will not collect taxes from the second graders
I will not fake seizures
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
I will not practice tap dancing on the principal's car
The capital of Montana is not 'Hannah'
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
Nobody reads these anymore
I will not snap bras
I was not the sixth Beatle
The cafeteria meatloaf is not 'Soylent Green'
Blackboard opening(R)eal or (F)ake?
They are laughing at me, not with me
Graffiti is not an art project
The hamster did not have 'a full life'
I will not sell the school's chairs for scrap metal
I will not sell cough syrup shots
Nobody stays the same age forever
I will not submit anonymous complaints to the school board
I will not commit crimes for the 'street cred'
Tony Danza is not my uncle
I will not sell my kidney on eBay
I will not tease Fatty
I will not sell teacher's house
The poop deck is not what I think it is
I will not try to unionize my classmates
I will not post fake homework assignments
I do not like green eggs and ham
I will not waste chalk
I will not leak the plot of the movie
I will not pledge allegiance to Rupert Murdoch
I will not believe what I hear on FOX News
I will return the seeing-eye dog
The pencil sharpener is only for pencils
I am not Sparticus
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
Eating my vegetables is not a Mother's Day present

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