Her head was kinda flat, but her hair covered that

The Father's a Nazi in Congress today

All of my friends still running free, hair growing out every hole in me

She was a steady date until she put on weight

I don't even care if you brush your teeth

I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper, let her do all the work and maybe later I'll rape her

Thank the lord that you still got hands to help you do that jerkin' that'll blot out your disco sorrow

On Ventura, there she goes, she just bought some bitchin' clothes

My balls feel like a pair of maracas

'N ef y'was already ugly, it'd make yo ass mean 'n ugly . . . 'n ef you was already mean 'n ugly, it'd turn ya into a strange, unknown kreetchuh, never befo' seen on broadway!

His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato

Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa

Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup and strap her on again

Ethell was a tree growing off of his shoulder

Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?

Poodle bites (Come on Frenchie) Poodle chews it (Snap it)

Reaching for an oversized chrome spoon he gathers an intimate quantity of dried muffin remnants and brushing his scapular aside, proceeds to dump these inside of his shirt

Let go of your pickle! I'm not holding my pickle! Well, who's holding your pickle then?

So, have your fun, you old son of a gun and drive home in your Lincoln

We can crash in my Nash

The first word of this song is discorporate, it means to leave your body

A marvel to be seen: dysentery green

With a tongue like a cow, she could make you go wow

And in your dreams you can see yourself as a prophet saving the world the words from your lips I just can't believe you are such a fool

GOT A GREAT BIG POODLE THING GOT A GREAT BIG HAIRY THING

I am a moron and this my wife

Dreamed I was an eskimo

One of my legs is shorter than the other and both of my feets too long

You know something people? I'm not black but there's a whole lots of times I wish I could say I'm not white!

Our big prize tonite is fifty american dollars to the girl with the most exciting mammalian protuberances

There's a cheesy atom bomb explosion all the big groups use

What will you do if we let you go home and the plastic's all melted and so is the chrome?

You tore a big hole in your convertible top, what will you tell your Mom and Pop?

You is what you am, a cow don't make ham

They used to play all kinds of stuff and some of it was nice, some of it was musical

Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair

It is my responsibility to enforce all the laws that haven't been passed yet

Who cares if you're so poor you can't afford to buy a pair of Mod A Go-Go stretch-elastic pants?

Gimme dat, gimme dat blow job

She paints her face with plastic goo and wrecks her hair with some shampoo

Do you think that my pants are too tight? Do you think that I'm creepy?

With a pair of heavy-duty zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand every other wrangler would say I was mighty grand

I may be vile and pernicious, but you can't look away, I make you think I'm delicious with the stuff that I say

Ugly is bad and bad is wrong and wrong is sinful and sin leads to eternal damnation

Mr. America walk on by your schools that do not teach Mr. America walk on by the minds that won't be reached

I remember, tu tu, I remember, tu tu, I remember, tu tu, they had a swimming pool

She put a Doobie Brothers tape on, I had a Roger Daltrey cape on

Imaginary guitar notes and imaginary vocals exist only in the imagination of the imaginer

We didn't have no dope or LSD, but a couple of quarts of beer would fix it so the intonation would not offend yer ear

Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up your poop chute