-You were havin' that dream where you made the white people riot again, weren't you?
-But I was tellin' the truth!

See! That's what I'm talking about right there! We don't use the N-word in this house!

-The only joy I get from these parties is standing around telling mean-spirited jokes at other people's expense.
-I do that, too!

Why can't we be ourselves, huh? Why can't I be me? Are you ashamed of us?

If I were to piss on you right now would you A, smile and ask for more; or

Can't I just call you 'Slickback' for short?

You ain't gon' hit no woman in my house.

-Cristal, that sounds like a stripper name. Might you be a stripper, Cristal like the champagne?
-And what would you know about strippers little man?

I recognize game! Your granddaddy recognize game!

Awww, look what you did to 'Dorothy'. You better have insurance.

Mr. Stinkmeaner the cancer has spread to your eyes, I'm afraid you will never see again.

Well, what I'm saying is that there are known knowns and that there are known unknowns.

Tom, did you erase all my mp3s?

-We now return to 'Gangstalicious: Resurrection'.
-Resurrection? That n*gga ain't dead.

And just WHAT is thuggin' love? Is that when you make love to a woman...

You don't look famous. What are you an actor? Is you Morgan Freeman?

Back in Iraq, we was in the Special Ops.

-I admire entrepreneurship in young people.
-You mean like them 12-year-old girls that work in your sweatshops in Indonesia?

Operation Black Steel, the mission to liberate Shabazz K. Milton-Berle, was aborted...

I've come up with a name for you... The White Shadow