Glenn Beck or Stephen Colbert

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QuoteBeck (B) or Colbert(C)
[Barack Obama] I think has exposed himself over and over again as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture.
I'm a rodeo clown. It takes great skill.
Sometimes it takes a crazy person to see the truth. If so, I'm a freaking lunatic.
The most used phrase in my administration if I were to be President would be 'What the hell do you mean we're out of missiles?'
Roosevelt...Am I wrong by saying there was a good portion of people that thought, 'Holy cow, I'm glad he's dead. He was turning into a dictator.'
The 9/11 Commission says we are woefully unprepared for another terrorist attack, calling it inevitable. Well, it's inevitable now that we've told the terrorists about it!
I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But what's the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?
There are a lot of [American] universities that are as dangerous with the indoctrination of the children as terrorists are in Iran or North Korea.
Mentioning Jesus in your speech: Small government. Doing what Jesus asked: Big government.
I feel like saying, 'Sir, prove to me you aren't working with our enemies. (Referring to Keith Ellison, the first Muslim U.S. congressman)
I could give a flying crap about the political process ... We're an entertainment company.
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
African-American is a bogus, PC, made-up term. I mean, that's not a race. Your ancestry is from Africa and now you live in America.
I say on the air all time, 'if you take what I say as gospel, you're an idiot.
The only [Katrina victims] we're seeing on television are the scumbags.
I personally am not worried about John McCain. The Lord is on his side. After all, John McCain's led a very Biblical life.
I think there is a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in a forest fire today.
There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends that are going to hell.
I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.
Barack Obama ... chose to use his name Barack for a reason -- to identify, not with America -- you don't take the name Barack to identify with America.
When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, 'Oh shut up' I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining.
I have always admired Justice Clarence Thomas. The man is a rock — in that he could be replaced by a rock, and I'm not sure anyone would notice.
Some may believe we're on the road to Hitler youth.
I am just about the world's biggest Glenn Beck fan. I follow him even more closely than the shadowy forces tracking his every move.

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