| Quotation | Character |
| 'Back away, not today...' | |
| 'I was learning how to be more judgmental.' | |
| 'The answer to all three is 'Fried Green Tomatoes'.' | |
| 'I won't even subject you to the horrors of our 'Three Stooges' ward.' | |
| 'Inflammable means flammable? What a country.' | |
| 'It's time to tear those aliens a third corn chute!' | |
| 'Just me and Eudora Welty.' | |
| 'How would you like to spend $2000 to give a man a second chance?' | |
| | Quotation | Character |
| 'You steam a good ham.' | |
| 'All I can be is myself.' | |
| 'Hello St. Louis!!!!' | |
| 'Bunk with me tonight.' | |
| 'Take my hand with your glove of love.' | |
| 'Poison...poison...tasty fish!' | |
| 'Looks like there's a little leftover nuclear waste. No problem. I'll just put it where nobody'll find it for a million years.' | |
| 'Although we can't reach the boy, we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen, so that future generations can rescue him.' | |
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