Weird Al songs by lyrics

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Can you name the Weird Al songs by lyrics?

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I'm afraid they'll try to harm me, they didn't act like Barney.
I 'm a whiz at minesweeper and I play it for days
(Title),(Title), open up your mouth and feed it
They'll treat you like the filthy hard-bitten criminal scum you are
Sittin' in the waiting room hearin' people scream
The pavement cracks, when I fall down, I've got more chins, than Chinatown
And another one on, another one on (Title)
As I walk to the fields where I harvest my grain, I take a look at my waife and realize she's very plain

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