| Quotes | Movie |
| 'You and your mom are hilbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.' | |
| 'I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream, 'I love my best friend, Evan.' | |
| 'To become 'taronyu' hunter, you must choose your own Ikran and he must choose you.' | |
| 'I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.' | |
| 'This is crazy. I finally meet my childhood hero and he's trying to kill us. What a joke. ' | |
| 'The first rule of ________: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties.' | |
| '...And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling! ' | |
| [sneering and aiming gun] 'Get off my lawn! ' | |
| 'Well, I don't know, man. I think I'm functioning right now. I was, like, stoned when I saved you with those slushies. What do you gotta say to that?' | |
| 'No, but maybe its written, no? ' | |
| | Quotes | Movie |
| '...What I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career...I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.' | |
| 'And so the lion fell in love with the lamb' | |
| 'Eeeee... va? ' | |
| 'You know how when you grab a woman's breast... it feels like... a bag of sand. ' | |
| 'MOM! THE MEATLOAF! ****!' | |
| 'All right, I'm sorry... But this is like the twenty third time we've made out already and... they're getting blue! ' | |
| 'Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD! ' | |
| 'We ___ try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup. ' | |
| 'Oh, you can milk just about anything with nipples.' | |
|