Ron Burgundy or Charlie Sheen?

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Can you name the speaker? Ron Burgundy or Charlie Sheen?

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QuoteWho Said It?
'I'm expressing my anguish through the majesty of song!'
'I can barely lift my right arm because I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand.'
'If you try [my drug] you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.'
'My life is perfect and winning every second, and I'm delivering the goods at every frickin' turn.'
'I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.'
'If you want to throw down in fisticuffs, fine. I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waiting for ya. Right here.'
'I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it with my brain.'
'I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.'
'I'm in a glass case of emotion!'
'We will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band and tour the countryside. And you won't be invited!'
'I'm going to hang out with these two smokin' hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view.'
'Let's go over the ground rules. Rule number one: No touching of the hair or face. And THAT'S IT!'
'There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.'
'I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone! Come see how good I look!'
QuoteWho Said It?
'I am battle-tested bayonets!'
'I'm the man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and braun.'
'I am a werewolf stampede. I will stomp on your infant minds with my righteous fuzzy toes.'
'Vatican assassin warlocks!'
'[Normal people] lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, I can't process it.'
'I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels, especially if he winds up in my octagon.'
'Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I could have done with my fire-breathing fists.'
'You can't process me with a normal brain.'
'I have no interest in [the public's] retarded opinions. I'm gonna win inside every moment, and they can just find the most comfortable chair in their small house and sit back and
'[I have] tiger blood and Adonis DNA.'
'You are a smelly pirate hooker!'
'I'm gonna punch you in the ovary. That's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.'
'I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars.'
'I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time, and this includes naps, I'm an F-18...'

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