Ron Burgundy or Charlie Sheen?

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Can you name the speaker? Ron Burgundy or Charlie Sheen?

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QuoteWho Said It?
'I have no interest in [the public's] retarded opinions. I'm gonna win inside every moment, and they can just find the most comfortable chair in their small house and sit back and
'I am a werewolf stampede. I will stomp on your infant minds with my righteous fuzzy toes.'
'I'm expressing my anguish through the majesty of song!'
'[I have] tiger blood and Adonis DNA.'
'My life is perfect and winning every second, and I'm delivering the goods at every frickin' turn.'
'Let's go over the ground rules. Rule number one: No touching of the hair or face. And THAT'S IT!'
'I am battle-tested bayonets!'
'[Normal people] lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, I can't process it.'
'There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.'
'You can't process me with a normal brain.'
'I'm the man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and braun.'
'Vatican assassin warlocks!'
'If you try [my drug] you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.'
'I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone! Come see how good I look!'
QuoteWho Said It?
'You are a smelly pirate hooker!'
'Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I could have done with my fire-breathing fists.'
'I can barely lift my right arm because I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand.'
'I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels, especially if he winds up in my octagon.'
'I'm gonna punch you in the ovary. That's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.'
'We will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band and tour the countryside. And you won't be invited!'
'I'm in a glass case of emotion!'
'I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.'
'I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.'
'If you want to throw down in fisticuffs, fine. I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waiting for ya. Right here.'
'I'm going to hang out with these two smokin' hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view.'
'I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time, and this includes naps, I'm an F-18...'
'I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars.'
'I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it with my brain.'

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