League of Legends Champions by Joke [January 2014]

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Can you name the League of Legends Champions by Joke [May 2013]?

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JokeChampion
If PETA asks, this fur is fake.
Forbidden shadow wins.
Oh, what's that smell? Oh, it's me...
The worth of a man can be measured by the length of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.
What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?!
Shaken, not stirred.
Let's end this quickly... (Cough) I need to use the little soldier's room.
Never lost a fair game... or played one.
I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down.
Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!
Noxuuu... oh, woah, oof! How does he do it?
Lying is, like, ninety five percent of what I do.
Joke? What do you mean?
Gems? Gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.
Plays different electric guitar sounds.
Jokes? I don't know any jokes.
No matter how far it is to the top, it's still within my grasp!
Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!
Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?
You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.
Sometimes you're the catch. Sometimes you're the bait.
If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?
Listen close-...I have important-...This is why I can't take you nice places!
And they said I lacked balance. Ha!
Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.
Our seasons are reversed: my spring, your fall.
Screaming won't do you any good, but it's music to my ears.
A sniper's greatest tool is precision... and good equipment.
If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure you know the game.
So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?
Ugh, I lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.
I could go for a twirl... Whoa, whoa whoa ah, wooh!'
Light mage? I'm just an ordinary mage.
Turbo on! Uh...wuuh? Just needs a little kick start there. Hyup.
Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!
Who... let the dogs... out. Woof. Woof, woof.
No, really, put that apple on your head...
For my next trick, I'll make you disappear!
JokeChampion
Cut purse? No. Cut throat? Yes.
You can't milk those.
*Burps* I think a voidling just came out!
Are... You sure you're not in the wrong league?
So much bloodshed... This is my kind of place!
Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten.
You know what they say... karma always catches up to you.
Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!
I think I broke a nail, good thing it wasn't mine.
Fishbones, you know what we oughta' do? 'Do the laundry, wash dishes and pay some bills.' Stupid dumb rocket launcher
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!
Not all angels are good.
When you dance with death, lead.
Did I mention it's mating season?
Sometimes I think this anchor just weighs me down.
Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great - owwawww... oh, my toesies.
Suffering is magic.
I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.
Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.
Can you smell coward, Bristle? Get 'em!
Wuju.. pass me that potion?
Who's there? Garen who? Yeah, I guess he does say that a lot.
All the better to eat you with my dear!
My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!
Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.
It's alright Clubbems, we'll get to smashing soon.
My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.
Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?
Knock, knock. Who's there? The moon... it's far away. You were alone the whole time.
Hmm, I suppose you're expecting some unbearable pun.
The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!
I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.
Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
I hear a man likes a lady with legs.
Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.
Inflates himself into a balloon doing a couple of bounces before returning to normal
I like my weapons how I like my music... heavy and metal!
No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.
Find me an immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!
JokeChampion
What? Do I have someone in my teeth?
And they say I can't handle my drink...
Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.
Hmm, something's fishy.
Noxians... I hate those guys...
Nobody understands me, they called my work a hack job!
This is my happy face. See?
Let's be friends forever.
I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.
Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh..
Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like banana.
Yes, they make shurikens this small!
Not Draven; Draaaaven.
Why can't I get a straight answer? It's always just 'Oh no! Stop hitting me! Ow, my face!'
Is that a rocket in your pocket?
Everyone's a hero... till you shoot off a leg or two.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!
Imagine if I had a real weapon!
How do you like my guns... Shock, and Awe!
They come apart so easily. How do you put them back together again?
Sounds a 'Charge!' bugle call.
Lima Oscar Lima!
If you run, you won't see me stab you!
I got these tattoos in rune prison!
Caught between a rock... and a hard place.
Is it hot in here or is it just me?!
I put the 'go' in 'golem'. That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriately funny.
Size doesn't mean everything.
I may be bad, but I feel good...
If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.
My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.
No jokes for Mr. Okay. :(
You smell like burning!
What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.
I haven't got a brain, and soon... neither will you!
Speak softly...and ride a big yeti!
Feel free to give up now.
I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?

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