League of Legends Champions by Joke [January 2014]

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Can you name the League of Legends Champions by Joke [May 2013]?

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JokeChampion
I think I broke a nail, good thing it wasn't mine.
I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?
Forbidden shadow wins.
The worth of a man can be measured by the length of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.
Never lost a fair game... or played one.
What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?!
And they said I lacked balance. Ha!
Feel free to give up now.
Let's end this quickly... (Cough) I need to use the little soldier's room.
Hmm, something's fishy.
Why can't I get a straight answer? It's always just 'Oh no! Stop hitting me! Ow, my face!'
*Burps* I think a voidling just came out!
Ugh, I lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.
You can't milk those.
Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
Can you smell coward, Bristle? Get 'em!
Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!
Knock, knock. Who's there? The moon... it's far away. You were alone the whole time.
If PETA asks, this fur is fake.
Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!
Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.
A sniper's greatest tool is precision... and good equipment.
Sounds a 'Charge!' bugle call.
No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.
I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.
Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!
No, really, put that apple on your head...
Yes, they make shurikens this small!
Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.
I like my weapons how I like my music... heavy and metal!
Is that a rocket in your pocket?
And they say I can't handle my drink...
Who... let the dogs... out. Woof. Woof, woof.
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!
You know what they say... karma always catches up to you.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like banana.
Suffering is magic.
I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.
Oh, what's that smell? Oh, it's me...
JokeChampion
Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!
They come apart so easily. How do you put them back together again?
Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?
Are... You sure you're not in the wrong league?
No jokes for Mr. Okay. :(
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!
Lying is, like, ninety five percent of what I do.
You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.
Nobody understands me, they called my work a hack job!
Lima Oscar Lima!
I put the 'go' in 'golem'. That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriately funny.
I may be bad, but I feel good...
All the better to eat you with my dear!
I haven't got a brain, and soon... neither will you!
What? Do I have someone in my teeth?
If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?
Hmm, I suppose you're expecting some unbearable pun.
Plays different electric guitar sounds.
Imagine if I had a real weapon!
Light mage? I'm just an ordinary mage.
Not all angels are good.
What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.
Let's be friends forever.
When you dance with death, lead.
Listen close-...I have important-...This is why I can't take you nice places!
You smell like burning!
Turbo on! Uh...wuuh? Just needs a little kick start there. Hyup.
Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh..
It's alright Clubbems, we'll get to smashing soon.
Shaken, not stirred.
Inflates himself into a balloon doing a couple of bounces before returning to normal
Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.
Fishbones, you know what we oughta' do? 'Do the laundry, wash dishes and pay some bills.' Stupid dumb rocket launcher
I got these tattoos in rune prison!
Our seasons are reversed: my spring, your fall.
So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?
Noxians... I hate those guys...
Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten.
Gems? Gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.
JokeChampion
I could go for a twirl... Whoa, whoa whoa ah, wooh!'
Who's there? Garen who? Yeah, I guess he does say that a lot.
My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!
How do you like my guns... Shock, and Awe!
If you run, you won't see me stab you!
Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.
Screaming won't do you any good, but it's music to my ears.
If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.
Find me an immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!
Speak softly...and ride a big yeti!
Sometimes you're the catch. Sometimes you're the bait.
So much bloodshed... This is my kind of place!
Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great - owwawww... oh, my toesies.
Cut purse? No. Cut throat? Yes.
No matter how far it is to the top, it's still within my grasp!
Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?
Sometimes I think this anchor just weighs me down.
My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.
Noxuuu... oh, woah, oof! How does he do it?
Wuju.. pass me that potion?
Jokes? I don't know any jokes.
I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.
Caught between a rock... and a hard place.
Is it hot in here or is it just me?!
This is my happy face. See?
If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure you know the game.
Everyone's a hero... till you shoot off a leg or two.
Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.
My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.
Size doesn't mean everything.
I hear a man likes a lady with legs.
Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.
I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down.
Did I mention it's mating season?
Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!
Not Draven; Draaaaven.
Joke? What do you mean?
The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!
For my next trick, I'll make you disappear!

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