League of Legends Champions by Joke [January 2014]

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Can you name the League of Legends Champions by Joke [May 2013]?

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JokeChampion
Forbidden shadow wins.
Screaming won't do you any good, but it's music to my ears.
Shaken, not stirred.
Nobody understands me, they called my work a hack job!
Are... You sure you're not in the wrong league?
You can't milk those.
Find me an immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!
Let's be friends forever.
Size doesn't mean everything.
What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.
I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.
You smell like burning!
Imagine if I had a real weapon!
Feel free to give up now.
The worth of a man can be measured by the length of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like banana.
Oh, what's that smell? Oh, it's me...
Did I mention it's mating season?
Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.
Light mage? I'm just an ordinary mage.
Lima Oscar Lima!
I got these tattoos in rune prison!
Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great - owwawww... oh, my toesies.
And they say I can't handle my drink...
Who's there? Garen who? Yeah, I guess he does say that a lot.
No jokes for Mr. Okay. :(
I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?
Joke? What do you mean?
Hmm, I suppose you're expecting some unbearable pun.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The moon... it's far away. You were alone the whole time.
A sniper's greatest tool is precision... and good equipment.
*Burps* I think a voidling just came out!
I hear a man likes a lady with legs.
Wuju.. pass me that potion?
Ugh, I lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.
Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.
Never lost a fair game... or played one.
Speak softly...and ride a big yeti!
Everyone's a hero... till you shoot off a leg or two.
JokeChampion
Is it hot in here or is it just me?!
They come apart so easily. How do you put them back together again?
I haven't got a brain, and soon... neither will you!
Who... let the dogs... out. Woof. Woof, woof.
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!
Jokes? I don't know any jokes.
Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten.
What? Do I have someone in my teeth?
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!
Turbo on! Uh...wuuh? Just needs a little kick start there. Hyup.
If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?
No, really, put that apple on your head...
I think I broke a nail, good thing it wasn't mine.
Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.
Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.
Sounds a 'Charge!' bugle call.
I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down.
Sometimes you're the catch. Sometimes you're the bait.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!
No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.
When you dance with death, lead.
I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.
The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!
Noxuuu... oh, woah, oof! How does he do it?
Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh..
And they said I lacked balance. Ha!
I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.
Suffering is magic.
If you run, you won't see me stab you!
Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!
All the better to eat you with my dear!
Fishbones, you know what we oughta' do? 'Do the laundry, wash dishes and pay some bills.' Stupid dumb rocket launcher
If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure you know the game.
So much bloodshed... This is my kind of place!
How do you like my guns... Shock, and Awe!
This is my happy face. See?
If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.
It's alright Clubbems, we'll get to smashing soon.
My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.
JokeChampion
Cut purse? No. Cut throat? Yes.
Noxians... I hate those guys...
Inflates himself into a balloon doing a couple of bounces before returning to normal
Caught between a rock... and a hard place.
Gems? Gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.
My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!
Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!
Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.
If PETA asks, this fur is fake.
So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?
Lying is, like, ninety five percent of what I do.
Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!
Let's end this quickly... (Cough) I need to use the little soldier's room.
Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
Why can't I get a straight answer? It's always just 'Oh no! Stop hitting me! Ow, my face!'
Sometimes I think this anchor just weighs me down.
Is that a rocket in your pocket?
Yes, they make shurikens this small!
Hmm, something's fishy.
I may be bad, but I feel good...
I put the 'go' in 'golem'. That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriately funny.
My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.
Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?
Listen close-...I have important-...This is why I can't take you nice places!
You know what they say... karma always catches up to you.
Can you smell coward, Bristle? Get 'em!
Our seasons are reversed: my spring, your fall.
Plays different electric guitar sounds.
Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.
Not all angels are good.
You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.
I could go for a twirl... Whoa, whoa whoa ah, wooh!'
Not Draven; Draaaaven.
I like my weapons how I like my music... heavy and metal!
For my next trick, I'll make you disappear!
Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!
Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?
No matter how far it is to the top, it's still within my grasp!
What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?!

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