League of Legends Champions by Joke [January 2014]

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Can you name the League of Legends Champions by Joke [May 2013]?

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JokeChampion
Cut purse? No. Cut throat? Yes.
If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?
Can you smell coward, Bristle? Get 'em!
It's alright Clubbems, we'll get to smashing soon.
Never lost a fair game... or played one.
I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!
No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!
What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.
Light mage? I'm just an ordinary mage.
Oh, what's that smell? Oh, it's me...
All the better to eat you with my dear!
Caught between a rock... and a hard place.
I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.
What? Do I have someone in my teeth?
Is it hot in here or is it just me?!
Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten.
And they say I can't handle my drink...
Sometimes you're the catch. Sometimes you're the bait.
Screaming won't do you any good, but it's music to my ears.
I haven't got a brain, and soon... neither will you!
Size doesn't mean everything.
Listen close-...I have important-...This is why I can't take you nice places!
Turbo on! Uh...wuuh? Just needs a little kick start there. Hyup.
Are... You sure you're not in the wrong league?
Gems? Gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.
If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!
If PETA asks, this fur is fake.
Lying is, like, ninety five percent of what I do.
Not all angels are good.
I think I broke a nail, good thing it wasn't mine.
Let's end this quickly... (Cough) I need to use the little soldier's room.
This is my happy face. See?
Sometimes I think this anchor just weighs me down.
Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh..
Not Draven; Draaaaven.
Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.
JokeChampion
You can't milk those.
They come apart so easily. How do you put them back together again?
For my next trick, I'll make you disappear!
Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!
Knock, knock. Who's there? The moon... it's far away. You were alone the whole time.
Ugh, I lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.
I put the 'go' in 'golem'. That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriately funny.
Inflates himself into a balloon doing a couple of bounces before returning to normal
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like banana.
Noxuuu... oh, woah, oof! How does he do it?
Let's be friends forever.
Forbidden shadow wins.
Feel free to give up now.
You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.
So much bloodshed... This is my kind of place!
I got these tattoos in rune prison!
If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure you know the game.
You smell like burning!
Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.
Joke? What do you mean?
Who... let the dogs... out. Woof. Woof, woof.
Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.
My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.
Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?
Wuju.. pass me that potion?
Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.
I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down.
You know what they say... karma always catches up to you.
Yes, they make shurikens this small!
What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?!
Imagine if I had a real weapon!
My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!
Our seasons are reversed: my spring, your fall.
Hmm, something's fishy.
Fishbones, you know what we oughta' do? 'Do the laundry, wash dishes and pay some bills.' Stupid dumb rocket launcher
Plays different electric guitar sounds.
When you dance with death, lead.
My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.
Who's there? Garen who? Yeah, I guess he does say that a lot.
JokeChampion
Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!
Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
I like my weapons how I like my music... heavy and metal!
So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?
How do you like my guns... Shock, and Awe!
No matter how far it is to the top, it's still within my grasp!
The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!
I hear a man likes a lady with legs.
The worth of a man can be measured by the length of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.
Hmm, I suppose you're expecting some unbearable pun.
Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!
No jokes for Mr. Okay. :(
Lima Oscar Lima!
Did I mention it's mating season?
I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.
Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?
Everyone's a hero... till you shoot off a leg or two.
Sounds a 'Charge!' bugle call.
A sniper's greatest tool is precision... and good equipment.
No, really, put that apple on your head...
Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!
Nobody understands me, they called my work a hack job!
Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.
Is that a rocket in your pocket?
I may be bad, but I feel good...
Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great - owwawww... oh, my toesies.
Speak softly...and ride a big yeti!
I could go for a twirl... Whoa, whoa whoa ah, wooh!'
Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.
Suffering is magic.
Noxians... I hate those guys...
Find me an immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!
Why can't I get a straight answer? It's always just 'Oh no! Stop hitting me! Ow, my face!'
If you run, you won't see me stab you!
Shaken, not stirred.
*Burps* I think a voidling just came out!
Jokes? I don't know any jokes.
And they said I lacked balance. Ha!
I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?

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