League of Legends Champions by Joke [January 2014]

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Can you name the League of Legends Champions by Joke [May 2013]?

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JokeChampion
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!
If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?
Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.
Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!
What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.
Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!
Ugh, I lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.
Fishbones, you know what we oughta' do? 'Do the laundry, wash dishes and pay some bills.' Stupid dumb rocket launcher
Forbidden shadow wins.
Not Draven; Draaaaven.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like banana.
Sometimes I think this anchor just weighs me down.
Inflates himself into a balloon doing a couple of bounces before returning to normal
Let's end this quickly... (Cough) I need to use the little soldier's room.
Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?
Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?
Are... You sure you're not in the wrong league?
Is it hot in here or is it just me?!
Not all angels are good.
No matter how far it is to the top, it's still within my grasp!
Is that a rocket in your pocket?
No, really, put that apple on your head...
Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?
Caught between a rock... and a hard place.
Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.
Imagine if I had a real weapon!
You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.
Never lost a fair game... or played one.
Feel free to give up now.
Noxians... I hate those guys...
Lima Oscar Lima!
Screaming won't do you any good, but it's music to my ears.
Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.
Listen close-...I have important-...This is why I can't take you nice places!
So much bloodshed... This is my kind of place!
No jokes for Mr. Okay. :(
What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?!
You can't milk those.
JokeChampion
Shaken, not stirred.
Noxuuu... oh, woah, oof! How does he do it?
For my next trick, I'll make you disappear!
Can you smell coward, Bristle? Get 'em!
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!
Hmm, I suppose you're expecting some unbearable pun.
*Burps* I think a voidling just came out!
This is my happy face. See?
I may be bad, but I feel good...
Find me an immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!
I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.
I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.
Sounds a 'Charge!' bugle call.
If you run, you won't see me stab you!
I think I broke a nail, good thing it wasn't mine.
I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.
Who's there? Garen who? Yeah, I guess he does say that a lot.
Lying is, like, ninety five percent of what I do.
I could go for a twirl... Whoa, whoa whoa ah, wooh!'
Hmm, something's fishy.
Sometimes you're the catch. Sometimes you're the bait.
If PETA asks, this fur is fake.
I hear a man likes a lady with legs.
Yes, they make shurikens this small!
It's alright Clubbems, we'll get to smashing soon.
Why can't I get a straight answer? It's always just 'Oh no! Stop hitting me! Ow, my face!'
The worth of a man can be measured by the length of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.
Turbo on! Uh...wuuh? Just needs a little kick start there. Hyup.
Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.
Size doesn't mean everything.
Jokes? I don't know any jokes.
Oh, what's that smell? Oh, it's me...
Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.
Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!
Who... let the dogs... out. Woof. Woof, woof.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!
Wuju.. pass me that potion?
They come apart so easily. How do you put them back together again?
Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!
JokeChampion
Light mage? I'm just an ordinary mage.
I like my weapons how I like my music... heavy and metal!
If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure you know the game.
And they said I lacked balance. Ha!
Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten.
I haven't got a brain, and soon... neither will you!
And they say I can't handle my drink...
The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!
A sniper's greatest tool is precision... and good equipment.
Our seasons are reversed: my spring, your fall.
Did I mention it's mating season?
All the better to eat you with my dear!
Everyone's a hero... till you shoot off a leg or two.
Suffering is magic.
I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down.
Speak softly...and ride a big yeti!
If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.
Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great - owwawww... oh, my toesies.
How do you like my guns... Shock, and Awe!
My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!
My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.
I got these tattoos in rune prison!
Nobody understands me, they called my work a hack job!
When you dance with death, lead.
Cut purse? No. Cut throat? Yes.
Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh..
Joke? What do you mean?
Plays different electric guitar sounds.
I put the 'go' in 'golem'. That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriately funny.
Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.
Let's be friends forever.
I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?
You smell like burning!
No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.
Gems? Gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.
You know what they say... karma always catches up to you.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The moon... it's far away. You were alone the whole time.
My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.
What? Do I have someone in my teeth?

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