League of Legends Champions by Joke [January 2014]

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Can you name the League of Legends Champions by Joke [May 2013]?

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JokeChampion
The worth of a man can be measured by the length of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.
Size doesn't mean everything.
For my next trick, I'll make you disappear!
Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!
You know what they say... karma always catches up to you.
Is it hot in here or is it just me?!
I got these tattoos in rune prison!
Wuju.. pass me that potion?
No, really, put that apple on your head...
How do you like my guns... Shock, and Awe!
If you run, you won't see me stab you!
I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.
You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.
Never lost a fair game... or played one.
No jokes for Mr. Okay. :(
Can you smell coward, Bristle? Get 'em!
Jokes? I don't know any jokes.
I think I broke a nail, good thing it wasn't mine.
Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.
Noxuuu... oh, woah, oof! How does he do it?
Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!
Ugh, I lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.
Suffering is magic.
Not Draven; Draaaaven.
Turbo on! Uh...wuuh? Just needs a little kick start there. Hyup.
Sometimes you're the catch. Sometimes you're the bait.
My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.
Who's there? Garen who? Yeah, I guess he does say that a lot.
If PETA asks, this fur is fake.
Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!
Not all angels are good.
Nobody understands me, they called my work a hack job!
You smell like burning!
What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.
I put the 'go' in 'golem'. That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriately funny.
What? Do I have someone in my teeth?
The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!
I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.
Why can't I get a straight answer? It's always just 'Oh no! Stop hitting me! Ow, my face!'
JokeChampion
Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great - owwawww... oh, my toesies.
Is that a rocket in your pocket?
Hmm, something's fishy.
Speak softly...and ride a big yeti!
Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!
So much bloodshed... This is my kind of place!
Yes, they make shurikens this small!
Who... let the dogs... out. Woof. Woof, woof.
Light mage? I'm just an ordinary mage.
I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down.
I haven't got a brain, and soon... neither will you!
Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.
Hmm, I suppose you're expecting some unbearable pun.
My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!
Caught between a rock... and a hard place.
Imagine if I had a real weapon!
A sniper's greatest tool is precision... and good equipment.
I like my weapons how I like my music... heavy and metal!
Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?
I could go for a twirl... Whoa, whoa whoa ah, wooh!'
Fishbones, you know what we oughta' do? 'Do the laundry, wash dishes and pay some bills.' Stupid dumb rocket launcher
What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?!
No matter how far it is to the top, it's still within my grasp!
And they say I can't handle my drink...
Listen close-...I have important-...This is why I can't take you nice places!
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like banana.
And they said I lacked balance. Ha!
Did I mention it's mating season?
Inflates himself into a balloon doing a couple of bounces before returning to normal
Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten.
*Burps* I think a voidling just came out!
No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.
Plays different electric guitar sounds.
Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.
All the better to eat you with my dear!
Forbidden shadow wins.
So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?
Shaken, not stirred.
JokeChampion
Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?
Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.
Let's end this quickly... (Cough) I need to use the little soldier's room.
I may be bad, but I feel good...
Everyone's a hero... till you shoot off a leg or two.
I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?
Lying is, like, ninety five percent of what I do.
Cut purse? No. Cut throat? Yes.
Screaming won't do you any good, but it's music to my ears.
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!
Feel free to give up now.
I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.
Let's be friends forever.
Find me an immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!
Oh, what's that smell? Oh, it's me...
Are... You sure you're not in the wrong league?
Gems? Gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.
Lima Oscar Lima!
If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.
Our seasons are reversed: my spring, your fall.
Joke? What do you mean?
Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The moon... it's far away. You were alone the whole time.
Sometimes I think this anchor just weighs me down.
Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.
You can't milk those.
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!
When you dance with death, lead.
Noxians... I hate those guys...
This is my happy face. See?
If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure you know the game.
I hear a man likes a lady with legs.
Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh..
It's alright Clubbems, we'll get to smashing soon.
If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?
Sounds a 'Charge!' bugle call.
My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.
Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!
They come apart so easily. How do you put them back together again?

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