League of Legends Champions by Joke [January 2014]

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Can you name the League of Legends Champions by Joke [May 2013]?

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JokeChampion
Lying is, like, ninety five percent of what I do.
Let's be friends forever.
No matter how far it is to the top, it's still within my grasp!
For my next trick, I'll make you disappear!
Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?
Jokes? I don't know any jokes.
Who's there? Garen who? Yeah, I guess he does say that a lot.
Hmm, something's fishy.
Who... let the dogs... out. Woof. Woof, woof.
My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.
Why can't I get a straight answer? It's always just 'Oh no! Stop hitting me! Ow, my face!'
So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?
Cut purse? No. Cut throat? Yes.
*Burps* I think a voidling just came out!
Feel free to give up now.
Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.
What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.
My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!
Are... You sure you're not in the wrong league?
Inflates himself into a balloon doing a couple of bounces before returning to normal
Listen close-...I have important-...This is why I can't take you nice places!
Forbidden shadow wins.
Is that a rocket in your pocket?
You know what they say... karma always catches up to you.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like banana.
Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great - owwawww... oh, my toesies.
Never lost a fair game... or played one.
Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten.
When you dance with death, lead.
Ugh, I lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.
If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?
What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?!
Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.
Sometimes you're the catch. Sometimes you're the bait.
Size doesn't mean everything.
I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.
Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.
They come apart so easily. How do you put them back together again?
Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!
JokeChampion
Hmm, I suppose you're expecting some unbearable pun.
Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!
If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.
How do you like my guns... Shock, and Awe!
I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?
You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.
Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh..
Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.
A sniper's greatest tool is precision... and good equipment.
No jokes for Mr. Okay. :(
Noxuuu... oh, woah, oof! How does he do it?
I like my weapons how I like my music... heavy and metal!
Screaming won't do you any good, but it's music to my ears.
Oh, what's that smell? Oh, it's me...
I hear a man likes a lady with legs.
Imagine if I had a real weapon!
My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.
Is it hot in here or is it just me?!
No, really, put that apple on your head...
Light mage? I'm just an ordinary mage.
Noxians... I hate those guys...
No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.
And they say I can't handle my drink...
Let's end this quickly... (Cough) I need to use the little soldier's room.
Our seasons are reversed: my spring, your fall.
Can you smell coward, Bristle? Get 'em!
This is my happy face. See?
If you run, you won't see me stab you!
Turbo on! Uh...wuuh? Just needs a little kick start there. Hyup.
So much bloodshed... This is my kind of place!
I put the 'go' in 'golem'. That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriately funny.
Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!
I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down.
Fishbones, you know what we oughta' do? 'Do the laundry, wash dishes and pay some bills.' Stupid dumb rocket launcher
Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?
All the better to eat you with my dear!
I haven't got a brain, and soon... neither will you!
Find me an immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!
JokeChampion
Knock, knock. Who's there? The moon... it's far away. You were alone the whole time.
Joke? What do you mean?
Speak softly...and ride a big yeti!
Everyone's a hero... till you shoot off a leg or two.
What? Do I have someone in my teeth?
Did I mention it's mating season?
I may be bad, but I feel good...
Lima Oscar Lima!
Yes, they make shurikens this small!
I got these tattoos in rune prison!
I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.
Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!
Caught between a rock... and a hard place.
Plays different electric guitar sounds.
Not all angels are good.
Gems? Gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.
The worth of a man can be measured by the length of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.
Nobody understands me, they called my work a hack job!
And they said I lacked balance. Ha!
Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.
I think I broke a nail, good thing it wasn't mine.
Wuju.. pass me that potion?
If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure you know the game.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!
Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
If PETA asks, this fur is fake.
Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!
You can't milk those.
I could go for a twirl... Whoa, whoa whoa ah, wooh!'
The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!
Sometimes I think this anchor just weighs me down.
It's alright Clubbems, we'll get to smashing soon.
Not Draven; Draaaaven.
You smell like burning!
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!
Shaken, not stirred.
Suffering is magic.
Sounds a 'Charge!' bugle call.
I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.

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