League of Legends Champions by Joke [January 2014]

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Can you name the League of Legends Champions by Joke [May 2013]?

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Listen close-...I have important-...This is why I can't take you nice places!
I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.
I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.
Sometimes you're the catch. Sometimes you're the bait.
Nobody understands me, they called my work a hack job!
For my next trick, I'll make you disappear!
My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!
I think I broke a nail, good thing it wasn't mine.
Why can't I get a straight answer? It's always just 'Oh no! Stop hitting me! Ow, my face!'
Ugh, I lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.
I may be bad, but I feel good...
I got these tattoos in rune prison!
Suffering is magic.
I hear a man likes a lady with legs.
Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?
You know what they say... karma always catches up to you.
Sounds a 'Charge!' bugle call.
Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.
No jokes for Mr. Okay. :(
Who... let the dogs... out. Woof. Woof, woof.
Everyone's a hero... till you shoot off a leg or two.
Find me an immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!
Caught between a rock... and a hard place.
If PETA asks, this fur is fake.
Never lost a fair game... or played one.
I haven't got a brain, and soon... neither will you!
Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.
Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!
Sometimes I think this anchor just weighs me down.
No matter how far it is to the top, it's still within my grasp!
How do you like my guns... Shock, and Awe!
Knock, knock. Who's there? The moon... it's far away. You were alone the whole time.
Is that a rocket in your pocket?
It's alright Clubbems, we'll get to smashing soon.
A sniper's greatest tool is precision... and good equipment.
Lying is, like, ninety five percent of what I do.
Light mage? I'm just an ordinary mage.
Joke? What do you mean?
Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great - owwawww... oh, my toesies.
Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?
Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!
I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.
Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.
If you run, you won't see me stab you!
Imagine if I had a real weapon!
So much bloodshed... This is my kind of place!
Oh, what's that smell? Oh, it's me...
Hmm, I suppose you're expecting some unbearable pun.
Is it hot in here or is it just me?!
I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down.
Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten.
Noxians... I hate those guys...
Inflates himself into a balloon doing a couple of bounces before returning to normal
Yes, they make shurikens this small!
If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.
So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?
Our seasons are reversed: my spring, your fall.
What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.
Size doesn't mean everything.
If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?
Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!
Not all angels are good.
Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!
I like my weapons how I like my music... heavy and metal!
Not Draven; Draaaaven.
I put the 'go' in 'golem'. That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriately funny.
You smell like burning!
Jokes? I don't know any jokes.
Are... You sure you're not in the wrong league?
When you dance with death, lead.
Lima Oscar Lima!
This is my happy face. See?
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!
Fishbones, you know what we oughta' do? 'Do the laundry, wash dishes and pay some bills.' Stupid dumb rocket launcher
Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh..
No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.
Plays different electric guitar sounds.
Wuju.. pass me that potion?
Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.
Speak softly...and ride a big yeti!
The worth of a man can be measured by the length of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.
You can't milk those.
Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.
And they say I can't handle my drink...
They come apart so easily. How do you put them back together again?
Noxuuu... oh, woah, oof! How does he do it?
Forbidden shadow wins.
No, really, put that apple on your head...
Cut purse? No. Cut throat? Yes.
Who's there? Garen who? Yeah, I guess he does say that a lot.
All the better to eat you with my dear!
The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!
Did I mention it's mating season?
Let's be friends forever.
What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?!
Let's end this quickly... (Cough) I need to use the little soldier's room.
*Burps* I think a voidling just came out!
Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.
Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!
Screaming won't do you any good, but it's music to my ears.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like banana.
What? Do I have someone in my teeth?
Feel free to give up now.
My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.
I could go for a twirl... Whoa, whoa whoa ah, wooh!'
My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.
And they said I lacked balance. Ha!
Hmm, something's fishy.
You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.
If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure you know the game.
Turbo on! Uh...wuuh? Just needs a little kick start there. Hyup.
Gems? Gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!
I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?
Can you smell coward, Bristle? Get 'em!
Shaken, not stirred.

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