League of Legends Champions by Joke [January 2014]

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Can you name the League of Legends Champions by Joke [May 2013]?

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JokeChampion
No, really, put that apple on your head...
No matter how far it is to the top, it's still within my grasp!
I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down.
Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.
Size doesn't mean everything.
Sounds a 'Charge!' bugle call.
For my next trick, I'll make you disappear!
Fishbones, you know what we oughta' do? 'Do the laundry, wash dishes and pay some bills.' Stupid dumb rocket launcher
Everyone's a hero... till you shoot off a leg or two.
It's alright Clubbems, we'll get to smashing soon.
Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh..
Hmm, I suppose you're expecting some unbearable pun.
Not Draven; Draaaaven.
Oh, what's that smell? Oh, it's me...
And they say I can't handle my drink...
I got these tattoos in rune prison!
Is that a rocket in your pocket?
All the better to eat you with my dear!
Caught between a rock... and a hard place.
Noxuuu... oh, woah, oof! How does he do it?
My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.
The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!
If you run, you won't see me stab you!
Are... You sure you're not in the wrong league?
Turbo on! Uh...wuuh? Just needs a little kick start there. Hyup.
No jokes for Mr. Okay. :(
Never lost a fair game... or played one.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like banana.
Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!
I hear a man likes a lady with legs.
You can't milk those.
Screaming won't do you any good, but it's music to my ears.
Listen close-...I have important-...This is why I can't take you nice places!
*Burps* I think a voidling just came out!
I could go for a twirl... Whoa, whoa whoa ah, wooh!'
Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.
This is my happy face. See?
Not all angels are good.
Forbidden shadow wins.
JokeChampion
Sometimes you're the catch. Sometimes you're the bait.
Feel free to give up now.
Imagine if I had a real weapon!
I haven't got a brain, and soon... neither will you!
Gems? Gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.
If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.
Is it hot in here or is it just me?!
Speak softly...and ride a big yeti!
You smell like burning!
Inflates himself into a balloon doing a couple of bounces before returning to normal
Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!
Who's there? Garen who? Yeah, I guess he does say that a lot.
Lima Oscar Lima!
Sometimes I think this anchor just weighs me down.
Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great - owwawww... oh, my toesies.
Wuju.. pass me that potion?
Nobody understands me, they called my work a hack job!
My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!
I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.
Yes, they make shurikens this small!
I like my weapons how I like my music... heavy and metal!
They come apart so easily. How do you put them back together again?
I put the 'go' in 'golem'. That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriately funny.
The worth of a man can be measured by the length of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.
When you dance with death, lead.
Shaken, not stirred.
Suffering is magic.
No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.
If PETA asks, this fur is fake.
Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.
Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.
I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.
I may be bad, but I feel good...
What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?!
And they said I lacked balance. Ha!
Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!
Plays different electric guitar sounds.
Let's be friends forever.
JokeChampion
A sniper's greatest tool is precision... and good equipment.
Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten.
Hmm, something's fishy.
My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.
Noxians... I hate those guys...
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!
Cut purse? No. Cut throat? Yes.
How do you like my guns... Shock, and Awe!
Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?
Who... let the dogs... out. Woof. Woof, woof.
I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.
Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?
Lying is, like, ninety five percent of what I do.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!
So much bloodshed... This is my kind of place!
If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure you know the game.
You know what they say... karma always catches up to you.
Our seasons are reversed: my spring, your fall.
What? Do I have someone in my teeth?
You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.
Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.
I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?
Light mage? I'm just an ordinary mage.
Why can't I get a straight answer? It's always just 'Oh no! Stop hitting me! Ow, my face!'
Can you smell coward, Bristle? Get 'em!
Ugh, I lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.
So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?
If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!
Did I mention it's mating season?
Find me an immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!
Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!
I think I broke a nail, good thing it wasn't mine.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The moon... it's far away. You were alone the whole time.
Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.
Jokes? I don't know any jokes.
Joke? What do you mean?
Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.
Let's end this quickly... (Cough) I need to use the little soldier's room.

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