League of Legends Champions by Joke [January 2014]

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Can you name the League of Legends Champions by Joke [May 2013]?

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JokeChampion
Let's end this quickly... (Cough) I need to use the little soldier's room.
I haven't got a brain, and soon... neither will you!
No, really, put that apple on your head...
Lima Oscar Lima!
Two birds with one stone... Have you met my parents?
Hand bone connected to the axe bone connected to your face bone!
A sniper's greatest tool is precision... and good equipment.
Are... You sure you're not in the wrong league?
Did I mention it's mating season?
Ugh, I lost another blade. I wonder who it's in this time.
The only time I have a drinking problem is when I spill it!
I like my weapons how I like my music... heavy and metal!
If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?
I hear a man likes a lady with legs.
Jokes? I don't know any jokes.
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!
I tried to silence my mother once. Boy, did I regret that.
Power laning, power farming, power ganking, power kills! So many kills! Four-hundred kills!
Listen close-...I have important-...This is why I can't take you nice places!
Light mage? I'm just an ordinary mage.
Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy.
Yes, they make shurikens this small!
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!
I could go for a twirl... Whoa, whoa whoa ah, wooh!'
Screaming won't do you any good, but it's music to my ears.
And they said I lacked balance. Ha!
Size doesn't mean everything.
You know what they say... karma always catches up to you.
Fishbones, you know what we oughta' do? 'Do the laundry, wash dishes and pay some bills.' Stupid dumb rocket launcher
Caught between a rock... and a hard place.
My profession...! You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to be a baker.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like banana.
Noxians... I hate those guys...
No, I'm not happy to see you. Yes, that is a horn growing out of my head.
So much bloodshed... This is my kind of place!
Wanna know why me Roger is so Jolly? Heheheh..
Laying an egg isn't as easy as it looks.
Inflates himself into a balloon doing a couple of bounces before returning to normal
Weather forecast for tonight: dark, with a chance of pain!
JokeChampion
Not Draven; Draaaaven.
It's alright Clubbems, we'll get to smashing soon.
What's black and blue and is about to show you the definition of pain?!
The worth of a man can be measured by the length of his beard, and the girth of his belt buckle.
Wuju.. pass me that potion?
You can't beat me, so join me. I need a good pair of legs.
If PETA asks, this fur is fake.
My blade is not only precise, but totally gnarly.
Come on! Does this look dangerous to you?
Let's be friends forever.
What? Do I have someone in my teeth?
Nature is the truest form of balance. Eat and avoid being eaten.
I put the 'go' in 'golem'. That was humor. Other golems find that to be appropriately funny.
Mundo say his own name a lot, or else he forget! Has happened before.
Hmm, I suppose you're expecting some unbearable pun.
When you dance with death, lead.
Find me an immovable object, and I'll put this question to rest!
Plays different electric guitar sounds.
Why can't I get a straight answer? It's always just 'Oh no! Stop hitting me! Ow, my face!'
Noxuuu... oh, woah, oof! How does he do it?
Sunder any army, crumble any mountain, leap the great - owwawww... oh, my toesies.
Oh, what's that smell? Oh, it's me...
If we approach strategically from the flank... Oh who am I kidding, let's just morph and eat them.
You can't milk those.
Speak softly...and ride a big yeti!
Forbidden shadow wins.
I think I might know a relative of yours. No hair... sagging flesh... always going on about brains. Ring any bells?
Talent, honor, discipline, and pretty pictures!
Can you smell coward, Bristle? Get 'em!
Let me help shuffle off your mortal coil.
Nobody understands me, they called my work a hack job!
Knock, knock. Who's there? The moon... it's far away. You were alone the whole time.
Sometimes you're the catch. Sometimes you're the bait.
Never lost a fair game... or played one.
Our seasons are reversed: my spring, your fall.
You smell like burning!
Oh no! I seem to have stepped on one of my cousins!
I think I broke a nail, good thing it wasn't mine.
For my next trick, I'll make you disappear!
JokeChampion
What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.
Joke? What do you mean?
Everyone's a hero... till you shoot off a leg or two.
If you run, you won't see me stab you!
I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down.
Feel free to give up now.
They come apart so easily. How do you put them back together again?
Is that a rocket in your pocket?
All the better to eat you with my dear!
I knew I should have sprung for the blade warranty.
Who... let the dogs... out. Woof. Woof, woof.
Suffering is magic.
Sounds a 'Charge!' bugle call.
So many noobs... will matchmaking ever find true balance?
If you'd like to play with me, you'd better be sure you know the game.
Hmm, something's fishy.
*Burps* I think a voidling just came out!
I may be bad, but I feel good...
Sometimes I think this anchor just weighs me down.
Yes, it's true. For only $2.95 a minute, I will leave you breathless.
Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
Imagine if I had a real weapon!
No matter how far it is to the top, it's still within my grasp!
No jokes for Mr. Okay. :(
I got these tattoos in rune prison!
Cut purse? No. Cut throat? Yes.
My right arm is a lot stronger than my left arm!
Is it hot in here or is it just me?!
How do you like my guns... Shock, and Awe!
Turbo on! Uh...wuuh? Just needs a little kick start there. Hyup.
Who's there? Garen who? Yeah, I guess he does say that a lot.
This is my happy face. See?
Lying is, like, ninety five percent of what I do.
Go ahead, be negative. You'll be just my type.
Shaken, not stirred.
Not all angels are good.
Gems? Gems are truly outrageous. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.
And they say I can't handle my drink...
I cannot use your skull. You have a misshapen head.

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