Season 1, Episode 1 BART: 'Oh please, there's only one fat guy who brings us presents and his name ain't Santa.'
Season 2, Episode 2 WOMAN: 'Some nerve, telling us how to run the plant; he doesn't even have hair.'
Season 3, Episode 3 BART: 'Yo, Sensei, can I go to the bathroom?' AKIRA: 'You can if you believe you can.'
Season 4, Episode 4 MARGE: 'There once was an ugly duckling-' LISA: 'So you think I'm ugly?' MARGE: 'No! No, I meant you were one of the good looking ducks... That makes fun of the ugly one... Hmmm.'
Season 5, Episode 5 HOMER: 'I'm smarter than the devil! I'm smarter than the devil!' NED: 'YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME!'
Season 6, Episode 6 MARGE: 'Hello, Police? This is Marge Simpson. My husband is on a murderous rampage! Over. CHIEF WIGGUM: 'Oh, well thank God that's over. I was worried there for a sec.'
Season 7, Episode 7 AUTOMATED MESSAGE: [BEEP] 'The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialling wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.'
Season 8, Episode 8 APU: 'Now this is the room with electricity, but it has too much electricity, so I don't know, you might want to wear a hat.'
Season 9, Episode 9 MARGE: 'Well, like we say, 'the right house for the right person'.' LIONEL HUTZ: 'Listen, it's time I let you in on a little secret, Marge. The right house is the house that's for sale. The right person is anyone.'
Season 10, Episode 10 NED: 'Oh, Lord, what should I do?' CCTV OPERATOR: 'Keep Gaming.' NED: 'What?' CCTV OPERATOR: 'It means gambling. Keep gambling.'
Season 11, Episode 11 BART: 'I figure I'll go for the life of sin, followed by the presto-chango death bed repentance.' BROTHER FAITH: '... Wow, that's a good angle... da- But that's not God's angle!'
Season 12, Episode 12 SERENA: 'You're dumping your own daughter?' HOMER: 'Yeah, but only to crush my wife and son.' SERENA: 'That's horrible!' VENUS: 'Yeah, that's pretty low.' HOMER: 'Hmm, you seem less disgusted, let's go.'
Season 13, Episode 13 CHIEF WIGGUM: 'You know, it's kind of ironic. These old people are being kept alive by the organs of the young people they ran over.' LOU: 'Makes you think, huh, Chief?' CHIEF WIGGUM: 'Not really.'
Season 14, Episode 14 KRUSTY: 'I've brought laughter to your homes three days a week, 18 weeks a year, for 12 of the past 25 years, but whenever America has needed me, I've been there.'
Season 15, Episode 15 MARGE: 'I am so cheesed off, I need a drink.' AGNES: 'Then you should thank God you're in a rehab centre, cos we're packin''
Season 16, Episode 16 MARGE: 'Why did you start fixing our roof and then just disappear?' RAY: 'That's easy; I'm a contractor.'
Season 17, Episode 17 HOMER: 'This isn't India! Where's the University of Notre Dame, The Indy 500, Wrigley Field, Dodger Dogs?!' WOMAN: 'You ignorant American! You have confused India with Indiana, Indiana with Illinois, and the Cubs with the Dodgers!'
Season 18, Episode 18 MOE: 'It's not like we can play the game over again.' LISA: 'Can't we?' MOE: 'Like I just said, we can't.' LISA: 'Are you sure?' MOE: 'Open your freakin' ears.'
Season 19, Episode 19 HOMER: 'My mother's dead.' GRAMPA: 'I'm still with you, son.' HOMER: 'Oh, it just gets worse and worse.'
Season 20, Episode 20 SNOW WHITE: 'This bed's too hard! This one's too soft! And this bed is just... like the first one! Also too hard!'
Season 21, Episode 21 MOE: 'Perhaps I should've told you in person, but there's no easy way to say goodbye forever... So I'll say it the hardest way I can: in Mandarin Chinese; 'Zai jian Yong yuan!''
Season 22, Episode 22 HOMER: 'And didn't the Easter Bunny himself say 'Forgive them, father, for finding all my eggs'? And if a giant rabbit can lay chocolate eggs, maybe you and Edna can find a way to make it work.'