| Quote | Speaker |
|---|
| 'Question. What kind of bear is best?'? | |
| 'I never let anyone walk behind me, 7/10 attacks are from the rear.'? | |
| 'OK. If I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.'? | |
| 'You'll notice I didn't have anybody be an Arab. I thought that would be too explosive. No pun intended. But I just though. 'Too soon for Arabs.' Maybe next year. Um... You know, t? | |
| 'I'm a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer, they have very good vision. One thing about me, I am better at hiding than they are... at vision.'? | |
| '{Character} does not lose contests. He wins them... or he quits them because they are unfair.'? | |
| 'You wanna go to the beach? You wanna get high?'? | |
| 'How would I describe myself? Three words. Hard-working. Alpha male. Jackhammer. Merciless. Insatiable.'? | |
| 'This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple years ago.'? | |
| 'Everyone, follow me to the shelter. We've got enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a difficult conversation.'? | |
| 'Look how cute he is. And he's trying to shoot with a smoke grenade.'? | |
| 'In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.'? | |
| 'Toby Flenderson is everything that is wrong with the paper industry.'? | |
| | Quote | Speaker |
|---|
| 'Your pencils are creating a health hazard. I could fall and pierce an organ.'? | |
| 'You, uh, you should have put him in custardy.'? | |
| 'Yeah, I just moved it an inch every time he went to the bathroom. And that's how I spent my entire day that day.'? | |
| 'In fact as a basic rule of thumb, let's just act like everyday Pam's mom is coming over.'? | |
| 'It was on company property, with company property. So, double jeopardy, we're fine.'? | |
| 'They're making fun of Cookie Monster. I get that. But in a strange way, it feels like they're making fun of me.'? | |
| 'You give me a gift? *BAM* Thank you note! You invite me somewhere? *POW* RSVP! You do me a favor? *WHAM* Favor returned! Do not test my politeness. '? | |
| 'That actually took a while. I had to put, uh, more and more nickels into his handset, till he got used to the weight, and then I just... took 'em all out.'? | |
| 'I run a small fake-ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swipped from the sherrif's station.'? | |
| 'Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so, you are succeeding. Fortunately my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man's.'? | |
| 'Hello this is Dwight. Hello Motta. I have married. Tell Fadda'? | |
| 'If someone gives you ten thousand to one on anything, you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an oscar, I'm going to be a very rich dude.'? | |
|
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