Mikey: She looks so happy like that...

T.J.: Mikey, what are you doing?

Gretchen: But...but you were supposed to study the homework and learn from it!

Gretchen: You skipped studying for professional wrestling?

Gretchen: Boys are weird.

Finster: The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.

Vince: Bob's king of the playground. If he helps, the other kids will follow.

T.J.: We're all Ashley's, too.

Mikey: There are lots of people without names. Gus: Like who?

Hank the Janitor: Do you hear music?

Vince: Man, did you see that kick? That was in my prime!

Gretchen: The kids' unwritten code of honor is what makes us different from adults, different from animals. What would we be without it?

Spinelli: Boys kissing girls? Girls kissing boys?

Spinelli: The day I stop caring about dodgeball is the day the Earth starts spinning around the sun.

T.J.: You realize we may have to get married after this.

Gretchen: But the question remains: Why did you refer to him as 'El Diablo', Spanish for 'the Devil'?

T.J.: So she got inflamed gums. Nobody with inflamed gums eats fiber pellet cereal - it's too darn crunchy!

Jan Dettweiler: Aren't you glad I made you keep up with your homework while you were out sick?

Gretchen: Don't panic. The nutritionists are probably cooking up a fresh batch as we speak.

Mikey: Stop, I beg of you! We can't treat these kindergarteners like cattle!

Miss Grotke: Oh dear T.J.! I'm afraid they didn't supply us with enough books for you!

T.J.: And so ends 22 and a half minutes of 5-on-Vince basketball.

T.J.: Tomato suprise. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the lunchroom.

Mikey: You...you saved my life!

Mr. LaSalle: If all the other kids jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?

Gus: Yeah, the Ashleys hate your guts!

Miss Finster (reading from a card): 'This golden-throated crooner really made the dames swoon with his big band ballad 'Man That Dame Can Swoon'.'

Gus: You sure? This game sounds really neat.

Spinelli: 2 bucks?! This is playground robbery!

Ashley A.: Miss Finster! Miss Finster! Some loser stole our precious Ashley flag and like totally replaced it with some sort of tent!