| Quote | Character | Issue Number |
| Hows about you get some brains? | |
| I wish the mall could be my ringtone. | |
| I gut you like sheep. | |
| Scha-wing! Not! Who let the dogs out? | |
| 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock! | |
| You wanna go find a remote access point with me? | |
| Obviously, I'll sing and pretend to play guitar. | |
| Taking the vowels out of words doesn't always make them cool. | |
| That thing makes me want to barf up my earlier energy drink into the one I'm currently drinking. | |
| Who wants to get hogtied, and pushed down, into, some snakewater? | |
| I'm a teen girl! | |
| I got jimmies. | |