Matilda: By the way, you were wrong about my outfit. It's the Cheryl Ladd collection and I got it at JC Penney's.
Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls, Capitan.
Mugatu: Hansel...
Derek: Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it.
Derek: Uhh Earth to Matilda, I was at a day spa.
Derek: What is this? A center for ants?
Larry Zoolander: I just thank the Lord [your mother] didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.
Reporter: Derek, are you worried about Hansel?
Derek: I think I'm getting the Black Lung, Pop.
Derek: I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.
Derek: A eugoogoolizer.
Matilda: I became... Hansel: What? Matilda: Bulimic.
Hansel: I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No.
J.P. Prewitt: Male models don't think for themselves. Derek: That's not true! J.P. Prewitt: Yes it is, Derek.
Mugatu: Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass?
Mugatu: Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigre? They're the same face!
Derek: Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right?
Billy Zane: No, you rock. When you gonna drop Magnum on us, buddy? Derek: Not yet.
Matilda: When I was in 7th grade, I was... the fat kid in my class.
Derek: What say we settle this on the runway... Han-Solo?
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