Dan: What's the whole not-drinking thing? Ed Webster: I'm a Quaker. Dan: What? Bullsh*t!
Dan: More apologizing, really?
Dan: Wait a second. So- Ma'am- So you're the one who's pregnant? Selina: I might be pregnant. Dan: So we're looking at a wedding.
Dan: So, what do you think? Is she really pregnant? Amy: How should I know? Dan:You’re a woman.
Dan: Holy sh- Are you pregnant?
Amy: Selina might be pregnant. What do we wanna do? Mike: Is this for real?
Mike: Which way are you gonna vote? Selina: The way that my principles and conscience tell me to go. Amy: Okay.
Selina: [after a secret service agent laughs at her joke] That was totally inappropriate. Amy: Inappropriate. Selina: That's not the first time that that's happened, by the way. He's not supposed to register emotion.
Gary: Oh, my God. Is she falling asleep? Amy: No, she cannot fall asleep on live TV. Not on C-Span.
Dan: I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight. That was f***in' dark. You've gone up 10 levels in my estimation, by the way.
Selina: I'm the Vice President of the United States, you stupid little f***ers! These people should be begging me!
Jonah: I'm gonna get back to the White House.
Amy: 7:00 p.m. on a Saturday night. Even people who are dying of malaria stay up later than that.
Mike: Look, Amy, oil already hates me 'cause we're closing their tax loopholes and making them pay for cleanup, so now I'm eating everyone's sh*t.
Gary: You're not gonna believe this. Selina is on next years list of hurricanes. Selina: Ugh, sh*t! What if it hits and we get a headline saying 'Selina causing large scale devastation.' Amy: People won't equate you with a natural disaster, ma'am. Selina: Really, Amy? Cause I've met some people. Okay? Real people.
Jonah: Uh, guys, a man is dead. When a sexual harasser dies, we sign his wife's card. Okay?
Hallowes: Hey, did you fire your tweet monkey yet?
Amy: So, Dan, are you enjoying working for Hallowes? Dan: Not really. She's middle of the road. She's mediocre, really.
Ed: Jonah, you’re not even a man. You’re like an early draft of a man, where they just sketched out a giant, mangled skeleton, but they didn’t have time to add details, like pigment or self-respect.
Amy: Catherine's essay is about Emad Burnat's movie '5 Broken Cameras.' Dan: Alright, if Owen Wilson's not in it, I probably don't know it. Amy: It's about non-violent Palestinian resistance to Israeli settlement of the West Bank.
Statistician 1: You're like Neo. Dan: Wow. Selina: What's a Neo? Statistician 1: He's from 'The Matrix.' Everything he does is awesome. Statistician 2: The first movie. The sequels sucked. Jonah: Guys, we agreed to let 'The Matrix' debate lie.
Sue: Congressman Furlong called and he'd like some face time. Selina: Okay, well, let's see, I'd rather set fire to my vulva. So that's a no. Amy: He's in town trying to play nice for a possible Senate run in the next year or so.
Gary: Okay, I got coffee, I got ginseng, I got protein bars. You want some of those? Selina: No. Gary: No? Selina: I need that stuff that junkies use.
Selina: Because of that smiling secret service guy, Amy, 66 percent disapprove.
Mike: Ma'am, Martin Collins, the secret service guy we reassigned... he's back. He's been un-reassigned. Selina: Are you kidding me? Mike: Not great, admittedly. Selina: 'Not great, admittedly'?
Selina: I think that Ted is getting ready to dump me. [Amy shakes her head] What is that... nodding thing supposed to mean? Amy: No, no, my- processing information.
Dan: So I guess you're gonna be needing maternity leave. I'd be the obvious choice for your replacement. Amy: That is literally your first thought? Dan: No.
Mike: You sure you set this meeting for 8:00 A.M. today? Sue: Am I sure??? Mike: Okay, I'm sorry. Okay, of course you did. Of course. Please, stop staring at me like that. Undressing me with your eyes.
Jonah: I'm sure the President's absence has nothing to do with your rift with the first lady. Selina: What? There is no rift. It was one tiny little disagreement and everyone's making it out like we had a catfight in the map room or something. Gary: She'd be a rough fighter, though.
Amy: Uh ... when was this meeting with Selina? Dan: Oh, are you still tracking my every move? I thought we agreed to move on. Amy: Move on from what? We dated for like a week.
Selina: Come on, let's go somewhere. Let's meet the public. Mike: You want to normalize it? Selina: Yes, exactly.
Amy: 'Clean Jobs task force likely to be green lit!' Exclamation point. Selina: Yeah! Oh, my God! That is so great for me! Amy: And the country.