A suicide telegram? Who sends a suicide telegram?

Aren't you going to look at your cards [before you bet]?

His refrigerator has been out of order for two weeks now.

Let's just play cards, and please hold them up.

Don't threaten me with jail, Blanche, because it's not a threat.

In other words, you're throwing me out!

You can't spend the rest of your life crying.

What happened to the apartment?

Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. The pot's shy. Who didn't put in a quarter?

I think I'm crazy.

Where the hell am I gonna get gravy at eight o'clock?

What's the smell? Disinfectant?

It's not spaghetti, it's linguini.
(Oscar throws the pasta at the wall)

How many cards you got? Four?

Hey, did you know Felix was once locked in a john overnight?

I know him. He's too nervous to kill himself.

What if he's laying in a gutter somewhere? Who would know who he is?

I told you 158 times I can't stand little notes on my pillow. 'We're all out of cornflakes. F.U.'

I put order in this house. For the first time in months, you're saving money. You're sleeping on clean sheets. You're eating hot meals for a change and I did it.

Well, last night it was [so hot], Gwen and I sat there in nature's own cooling ourselves in front of the open fridge. Can you imagine such a thing?