Gordon Bombay: Karp, how many fingers am I holding up?
Connie Moreau: [referring to a duck] But they're wimpy! Guy Germaine: They don't even have teeth!
Gordon Bombay: Ever seen a duck fight? No way. Why? Because the other animals are afraid.
Gordon Bombay: SHUT UP! You guys stink! I thought we came here to play hockey.
Lewis: Rink's gotta be around here someplace.
District Five Peewee Hockey Team: Take the fall! Act hurt!
Gordon Bombay: Keep swingin'.
Gordon Bombay: Yes sir, Mr. Ducksworth. Thank you very much, Mr. Ducksworth.
Les Averman: Just so you know, we really suck.
Gordon Bombay: Did you really quack at the Principal? Ducks: Yeah.
Gordon Bombay: I'm sure this will be a real bonding experience.
Gordon Bombay: Now here's the long and the short of it: I hate hockey and I don't like kids.
Coach Reilly: You got somethin' to say to me, Bombay? Gordon Bombay: To think, I wasted all those years worrying about what you thought.
Gordon Bombay: I hate kids.
Goldberg: Be careful man, it almost hit me that time! Charlie Conway: Goldberg, you're the goalie. It's supposed to hit you.
Gordon Bombay: You think losing is funny?
Jesse: Yo dude! You obviously in the wrong hood. This is my dominion, and it's a drug free zone. You understand? Now I'm feelin' generous today.
Coach Reilly: For six years, I taught you how to skate, I taught you how to score, I taught you how to go for the 'W'. You could have been one of the greats! And now look at yourself. You're not even a has-been.
Police Officer: Could you turn down the stereo? Gordon Bombay: Sure. I guess it was a widdle noisy. Police Officer: A 'widdle'? OK, I'm taking down to precinct. Breath, blood or urine?
[the kids aren't thrilled about being named the Ducks] Gordon Bombay: I didn't have a choice, we're being sponsored.
Dave Karp: What about the things you said, you said we didn't deserve to live. Gordon Bombay: Karp, I was being sarcastic. Do you know what that means?
Goldberg: My mother is not gonna approve of this, Coach! She wants me to live to be Bar Mitzvah'd! Gordon Bombay: This is your Bar Mitzvah, Goldberg.