Jerry: I'm engaged.
Joe: Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?

Sugar: Story of my life.

Sugar: Water polo? Isn't that terribly dangerous?

Joe: We didn't see anything!

Osgood: You must be quite a girl.

Osgood: I am Osgood Fielding the Third.

Spats Columbo: What's the rap this time?

Sugar: A herring? Isn't it amazing how they get those big fish into those little glass jars?

Jerry: I'm a man!

Sugar: I come from this musical family. My mother is a piano teacher and my father was a conductor.
Joe: Where did he conduct?

Sugar: Which is the port and which is the starboard?

Jerry: Now you've done it. Now you have done it!
Joe: Done what?

Joe: But, you're NOT a girl. You're a guy! And why would a guy wanna marry a guy?

Joe: Hey, these are real diamonds!

Jerry: Will you look at that? Look how she moves!

Sugar: Been waiting long?

Osgood: Right now, [Mother] thinks I'm out there on my yacht - deep sea fishing!

Spats Columbo: Hello, copper. What brings you to Miami?

Sweet Sue: Are you two from the Poliakoff agency?
Joe: Yes, we're the new girls.

Sig Poliakoff: You're the wrong shape. Goodbye!
Joe: What are you looking for, hunchbacks or something?

Joe: I heard a very sad story about a girl that went to Bryn Mawr.

Joe: So you got pinched in the elevator, so what?

Sugar: Oh, Daphne, how can I ever repay you?
Jerry: Oh, I can think of a million things. (Sugar climbs in Jerry's bed)

Joe: (grabbing Jerry by the collar) Daphne?

Joe: There's another problem. What are you gonna do on your honeymoon?