Michael: What am I worried about? I'm 22 years old, I'm backpacking through France. Life is wonderful.,, Oh, who am I kidding.
Tara: I speak perfect English. I also cook 815 international dishes, perform 637 sexual acts, use all the popular home appliances. Shall I cook you something? Chad Finletter: No. Thank you.
Matt Stevens: [sings] Oh Rosanna don't ya cry for me. Cos I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee. I do not know the rest of the words, I think I'll make them up.
Jim Richardson: I will not be mocked any longer! I was the star in the first picture, how dare you give me two lousy lines in this picture!
Professor Gangreen: Igor! Come! (a very handsome man appears) Igor: Sir, I am happy to respond to your call and... Professor Gangrene: Oh cut it out! I know you're only hanging around here until something opens up in the TV news field.
Tara: They are gardeners and carpenters.
Wilbur Finletter: My God! It's Adolf Hitler! Mason Dixon: This is Sam Smith. He's our undercover expert.
Professor Gangreen: Tara is missing!
General: You'd better bring a coat Mr. Richardson, there's a little Jap in the air.
Ted Swan: Some sell, some buy, and only we know why! The wrapper's more important than the price! Important decisions are made each day, much too important for the plain folk to make.
Dr. Nokitofa: Technically sir, tomatoes are fags.
The President: Take Air Force One. Jim Richardson: Sir, Air Force One is broken. The President: Broken? Jim Richardson: Yes sir. The President: The whole plane? Jim Richardson: In a sense sir.
Jim Richardson: Nobody is closer to power then the press secretary for the president. But it is never fully yours, it's dangling in front of you. Mocking your very existence.
News Announcer: And today the president closed the nation's last remaining submarine base at Groton, Connecticut.