Ricky: Fred, I've got an awful problem on my hands.

Ethel: What are you writing about?
Lucy: I'm writing about things I know.

Ethel: Imagine - me, meeting the Queen face to face. I'm scared!

Ethel: Gee, this high altitude sure gives me an appetite.

Ricky: What do you know about rice?

Lucy: If some other woman were to take Fred away from you, you'd be singing a different tune, too.

Ethel: Hey Lucy, the chickens are talking about Fred.

Lucy: Butter? What do you want butter for?
Ricky: I wanted to put some on my bread.
Lucy: Butter? On bread?

Lucy: It's my mad money.
Ricky: There's over $200 here.

Lucy: I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl! Are you tired, run-down, listless? Do you pop out at parties?

Ricky: Everybody knows you can get around a lady with a little sweet talk.

Lucy: Ethel and I are going dancing at the Copa.

Lucy: Hey, Ethel. Guess what Ricky got me!
Ethel: Um... A hat? A new dress?
Lucy: Oh Ethel, better! Think about what every woman wants from her husband!

Ricky: I need a copy of the marriage license for Lucille MacGillicudy. M-A-C... Gillicudy. Right, and Ricardo Ricardo y Acha. Acha. Acha.

Ethel: Fred, I'm sorry I said you were a dumb bunny.

Ricky: This whole thing is my fault. Something I said that started this whole mess.
Lucy: What's that?

Lucy: How would you feel if Fred was smoldering with jealousy?

Ricky: We can't afford it.

Lucy: I was, uh... bird-watching!
Ricky: Bird-watching?
Lucy: Uh, yeah! Do you know that there's a yellow-bellied woodpecker on our lawn?

Fred: What do you need a new lamp for? Abe Lincoln read by candlelight.

Fred: Let's just hope for the best.
Lucy: Don't worry, Fred. Ethel'll come back.

Fred: She said my mother looks like a weasel.
Lucy: Ethel, apologize.