Trish: Did you have fun paying six months of my phone bill?
Chloe: At first, I planned on strangling her with her Juicy sweatpants.
June: I'm drinking all the orange juice. There's enough here for both of us, but I'm gonna drink it all. I'm ignoring you. I am icing you out. I am not giving you any of my energy or my thoughts or my focus. Yep. That's what I'm doing. When friendship blows cold... it blows icy. Chloe: Ugh. Good God, woman!
Fox Paris: You stabbed the bitch in the conference room! You from Queens? June: Uh, no. Fox Paris: You hang out at Gino's? June: I-I-I don't know what that is. Is-is-is that a bar? Fox Paris: Yeah. You from Queens.
Chloe: We're at my parents' house. We're just gonna go in for a quick five-course meal, we'll be done in nine hours, max. June: Nine hours?! That is gonna bleed into Black Friday!
James: I ordered you some food. I, uh, I don't really know what girls eat. Busy Philipps: Oh, sweetie, we don't. We don't eat.
June: I can hang out with you. It's just, I-I can't drink anything. Chloe: Oh, no, no, no. If you roll with me, you roll as hard as me.
Chloe: [seeing June lying on the floor by the couch] Oh, don't bother.
Chloe: Yeah, we dated for a while and then decided we are better off as friends. We weren't really compatible genitally.
Chloe: If it hadn't been me stealing her money, it would have been somebody else. And they probably would have killed her too, so I hope you're happy.
June: I could never be a nurse like you. I'd be way too emotional. Robin: Well, that's because you're weak. It takes a special kind of person. Someone calm, composed, not easily ratt- Oh my god!
June: New York is the cultural mecca of the world. Great shopping, theatre, restaurants... if you have money. Which I don't.
June: How are you in AA? You are always drinking! Chloe: Oh, I'm not in AA because I'm sober.
Chloe: You date like a Quaker. June: We'll see!
Chloe: I only sleep with guys I haven't slept with before.
Chloe: Come on, Luther. I need the money. Luther: And I needed notes on my play. I gave it to you to read over a year ago. Remember? So, again, my answer is... [imitates Southern accent] The grapes on the vine aren't having it. [Chloe looks confused]
Chloe: Holy Mother! Damn it, those are tight! Doesn't that hurt? James: So much. Yeah.
June: Is that a picture of Dawson? Chloe: Ah, yeah. James Van Der Beek. The Beek from the Creek.
Chloe: Why do you have to make things so complicated when it could be just sex? June: Because sex is complicated! You've never had feelings for somebody you've slept with? Chloe: 'Slept with'?
Chloe: June, I don't care how Ben ranks his cycle. Why do you think I date six guys at a time? For exactly this reason. One gets annoying, another one slips right in.
Chloe: I've taken over a bunch of companies before—Volvo, Dole, Febreze.
Chloe: [barges into the People offices] Why is James not on the cover?! Carol: Uh, Marjorie must have nixed it. Marjorie has final say. Chloe: Stop saying 'Marjorie' like I'm supposed to know who that is. Carol: You don't know who Marjorie is? Chloe: Oh, my God!
Chloe: If we weren't late, so help me God, I would turn around and push you down this flight of stairs!
Chloe: When I was in high school, you were a grown man pretending to be in high school on TV.
June: How could you veto Emily so quickly? You didn't even know her. Chloe: I didn't need to. It's like a special power. Some people have special powers where they can't see, and some people have special powers where they can't hear.
Chloe: Good thing your face was so oily tonight, I could check my makeup in your forehead.
Chloe: Guess what. I finally like an appropriate guy. Mark! I'm totally attracted to Mark. June: Wait, Mark? My Mark? But you didn't know his name yesterday. Chloe: I know, but I just had a sex dream about him.