Dr. Evil: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my new submarine lair. It's long and hard and full of seamen.
Nigel Powers: There are only two things I can't stand in this world.
Goldmember: Hey, everyone! I am from Holland!
Austin: Mr. Roboto is lying to us. Foxxy: Tell me something I don't know.
Nigel Powers: Got an issue?
Dr. Evil: I never knew my birth parents. There was a car accident.
Frau Farbissina: I have some news. It's your son. He wants to take over the family business! Dr. Evil: Scotty does?
Dixie Normous: Hi, I'm Dixie. Dixie Normous.
Dr. Evil: Quid pro-quo, Mr. Powers.
Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call...
Number 2: While you were in space, I created a way for us to make huge sums of legitimate money, and still maintain the ethics and the business practices of an evil organization.
Goldmember: A shmoke und a pancake. You know, a flapjack und a shigarette? No? Shigar und a waffle? No? Pipe und a crepe? No?
Japanese Man 1: RUN! IT'S GODZILLA!
Fook Mi: Austin Powers! You're so great and so sexy! Austin Powers: Thanks, baby! Now what's your name? Fook Mi: Fook Mi!
Nigel Powers: Do you know who I am? Have you got any idea how many anonymous henchmen I've killed over the years? I mean, look at you.
Nigel Powers: Look, this is how it goes: You try to attack me, one at a time, and I knock you both out with a single punch. Ready? Go!
Foxxy: You have the right to remain sexy, sugar.
Dr. Evil: All right, it's getting crowded in here. Everyone out. Everyone out. C'mon. Not you, Scottie. Not you, Number 2. Not you, Frau. Not you, Goldmember. Not you, guys back there. Not you, henchman holding wrench.
Mr. Roboto: I am president of Roboto Industries. My name is Mr. Roboto.
Austin: MOLE! Bloody mole! We're not supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but there's the bloody mole winking me in the face!
Fat Bastard: I went on the Subway diet. You know, just like Jared. I've lost 180 pounds. Austin: Congratulations, baby. Fat Bastard: Thank you. I do have a little bit of excess skin, though. Bit of a problem here, you know.