Pam: This is Rodney. He's the new... whatever... Gun Librarian.
Cheryl: Milk comes from Mexicans?
Archer: Relax, it's North Korea.
Cyril: God, were you raised in a barn? Pam: No.
Archer: Lana! NOW!
Cyril: Every single time we come here, we have to help you get rid of a dead body.
Lana: Somebody's trying to frame Malory for murdering the Prime Minister of Italy.
Archer: Black, powerful, sexy.
Cheryl: My great-grandfather was nuts for skating.
Cheryl: [vomiting in a toilet] Oh, my God. I'm gonna die in a toilet stall.
Ray: You're taking me out of the field?
Cyril: So how about I take a look at it? I'm sure I could kill that pesky ol' worm. Lana: How?
Malory: But even though Cyril may be clingy...
Archer: Out-macho a gay guy? Oh my stars! Charles: Hmm...
Archer: In the middle of the Bermuda Triangle! Is this about the Bermuda Triangle?
Archer: You're missing out on all the great things that Tangiers has to offer. Lana: Name one. Archer: Cheap... Lana: Apart from cheap hash and a repulsively low age of consent.
Malory: ...and then, give me the file I asked for! Ray: Yeah, why don't I shove a broom up my a** and sweep the floor while I'm at it? Malory: What was that? Ray: Nothing! Malory: Good.
Archer: [In a Terminator voice] Your clothes. Give them to me! Cyril: Ah! Archer: [In normal voice] I'm just kidding, obviously!
Krieger: A small power unit goes here on your... spiney thing, which sends electical impulses to your muscles and ligaments and... stuff, which I will fuse to a vanadium alloy endoskeleton, replacing your current, uh, leg bones.
Malory: Pam, get me some poison, because I am already dead inside. Pam: Too dead inside to read good news? Malory: Is it my obituary?
Archer: A ruse? Hi, it's the 1930s. Can we have our words and clothes and sh*tty airplane back? Rip: Let's go, kid. Archer: Call you back, 1930s. And, hey, watch out for that Adolf Hitler.
Archer: Holy sh*t, our security is atrocious. Seriously, it's really bad.... Password? Hmm, password. How about 'Guest'. [He types in 'Guest' and it works] No way! It can't be.
Lana: You want to see crazy?! Archer: No! I've seen that movie and, spoiler alert, it ends with a closet full of my suits on fire! Lana: I wish you'd been wearing one! Archer: Who would want to wear an on-fire suit!
Randy: Do you want to have sex with my wife? Archer: No! I... I swear, this was just an extremely unlikely mishap with the barbed wire. Randy: Because we would be amenable to that... Well? Why do you look so nonplussed? Archer: Because I wasn't sure if you knew what 'amenable' actually meant.
Lana: I want it on record that I think this is a terrible plan. Malory: Duly noted and disregarded. And I expect you to be totally convincing. Lana: As the damsel in distress? Have you ever met a woman less damsel-y?