| Quote | First Names Only |
| 'I'm excited about doing the ad but I'm not really used to doing videos with so many people around.' | |
| 'Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh my God, what am I saying?' | |
| 'Michael, nine different people emailed me that photo, including my ex-wife and... we don't talk.' | |
| 'Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.' | |
| 'Now that I think about it, Angela and Andy might actually make a good couple. But I couldn't do that to Dwight. Or Angela. Or Andy.' | |
| 'All I know is if I was a girl and had to choose between a tall dude who loved Asia, and a you-lookin' dude who loved sweaters and wearing sweaters, I'd choose you.' | |
| 'Boobs.' | |
| 'You already did me!' | |
| 'I want some man-meat!' | |
| 'What am I going to do with the award? Nothing. I..I don't know what I'm going to do. That's the least of my concerns right now.' | |
| | Quote | First Names Only |
| ' I don't talk trash; I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical like 'Your Mama's so fat she could eat the internet' but smack talk is happening like | |
| 'Im not superstitious. I'm a little stitious.' | |
| 'Yeah I got a game. It’s called “work hard so your children can go to college”.' | |
| 'The Prius is silent if he keeps it under five miles per hour. He deserves the win' | |
| 'I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.' | |
| 'Beer me!' | |
| 'You wanna know what I think is sexy? Pam's art.' | |
| 'I've been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.' | |
| 'I should probably get involved in this but, I think my energy is better spent on the Cookie Monster issue.' | |
| 'I don't know this place as well as I thought I did. I'm getting cleaned out! ' | |
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