| Quote | Character |
| 'Let the commencing beginulate!' | |
| 'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is!' | |
| 'There's nothing like revenge for getting back at people.'' | |
| 'I bent my wookie.' | |
| 'I've got more trophies than Wayne Gretzky and the Pope combined.' | |
| [to piece of pie] 'You remember when I said I'd eat you last? I lied.' | |
| 'I love children, particularly their young supple organs. | |
| 'Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.' | |
| 'They call them 'fingers' but I never see 'em fing. Oh wait, there they go. | |
| | Quote | Character |
| 'That's a paddlin'' | |
| 'This is the greatest case of false advertisement I've ever seen since I sued the movie 'The Neverending Story''.' | |
| 'Don't kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!' | |
| 'I was saying 'Boo-urns'' | |
| 'Please do not offer my god a peanut.' | |
| 'We started off like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended it tragedy.' | |
| 'Inflammable means flammable?What a country!' | |
| 'No children have ever messed with the Repulican party and lived to tell about it.' | |
| 'If you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico!' | |
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