| Quote | Movie |
| We've been sitting here an hour. He's peed three times already. | |
| Appearances can be... deceptive. | |
| **** sympathy! I don't need your ****in' sympathy, man, I need my ****ing johnson! | |
| Biology and the prejudices of others conspired to keep us childless. | |
| You brought your bitch to the Waffle Hut? | |
| You know what date is on this coin? | |
| You know, it's proven that second-hand smoke is, uh, carcin-... uh, you know, cancer related. | |
| Look, just stay away from my ****ing lady friend. | |
| There's some mistake. I'm not a member of the Columbian Record Club. | |
| Cows! I hate cows worse than coppers! | |
| Why the **** would they go to the Russians? | |
| He took me to a psychiatrist one time, to calm me down... the psychiatrist said I was the healthiest person he'd ever talked to, so Marty fired him. | |
| | Quote | Movie |
| So you propose, that in spite demonstrable infidelity on your part, your unoffending wife should be tossed out on her ear. | |
| Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here! | |
| Fink. That's a Jewish name, isn't it? | |
| You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin' Donuts, call a cop. | |
| Maybe I can get a run in. | |
| Talk, you un-Reconstructed whelp of a ****! | |
| I smite, you smite, he smites, we done smote! | |
| Aw, hells bells. They even shot the dog! | |
| Who the **** do you work for, you ****er? | |
| And this here's the TV. Two hours a day, either educational or football, so you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things. | |
| The Uncertainty Principle. It proves we can't ever really know... what's going on. So it shouldn't bother you. Not being able to figure anything out. | |
| Me an' the old lady are gonna pick up the pieces and retie the knot, mixaphorically speaking. | |
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