| Lyrics | Song |
| Keeps firing off clichés with startling precision like a sniper using bollocks for ammunition | |
| You're never sensitive or tickley. When I rub you my skin goes prickley | |
| Except terminal illness or sudden accidental death | |
| He likes going to pubs but he hates it when the music's too loud | |
| So now if I'm feeling randy I'm not allowed a hand shandy. But having sex with my family is just f*cking great | |
| My daddy made a dinosaur with balsa wood and glue | |
| I can develop my brooding potential. If pain's what you want in a man, pain I can do | |
| I worked very hard for a rock n roll face. I've got the kooky contact lenses and the girly mascara | |
| So if you don't eat pigs and we don't eat pigs, why not, not eat pigs together? | |
| Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger | |
| Your love is like finger nails on a chalkboard | |
| The force created by its spin is the force that stops the chaos flooding in | |
| I'm not trying to be ironic or sarcastic. Do something drastic | |
| And he also says I'd deal with anger better if I wrote about myself in a poem or a letter | |