Wendy's best friend

Alter ego: Professo Chaos

has an alcoholic father and transforms into Mysterion

wears a blue hat with a red trim

has a cousin with the same name who is a Jewish stereotype

big-boned bigot who introduced the Woodland Critters

fulfilled an anchient prophecy that ended the carnage of the guinea pigs

a st-st-st-stand up comedian

his vocabulary is even more limited than his mobility

rich kid who played bass in Faith Plus One

killed his mother by leaving the toilet seat up

his parents own a coffee shop and he has had way too much caffeine

mature, beret-wearing ex-girlfriend of Stan

'You wanna get high?'

was thrown out of little league games for drinking and fighting

a lawyer who once dreamed of being a dolphin

an adopted, Canadian child

a gay man, a woman, a lesbian, and then a man again

speaks with the help of a voice box

City Wok proprietor

sensitive, one-time partner of Saddam Hussein

creator of chocolate salty balls

drove a bus before being killed off

goes on a dangerous quest inside Mr. Slave

a stomach-dwelling sage who may or may not be into bass to mouth

thinks everyone sure smells an awful lot like flowers

somewhere between Dr. Moreau and Marlon Brando

'Drugs are bad, m'kay'

the Allied Atheist Alliance (who ride ostriches)

blood orgy, Imaginationland combatants

Al Gore's nemesis

classmate from Britain

undereducated police officer

opinionated mother who Cartman can't stand

forced to eat his parents (in chili)

Stan's irritable, braces-bound sister

finally returned to his home on the moon

has diabetes

shop-class teacher who doesn't want the kids to 'screw around'

a sometimes prostitute-poser in sting operations

entities behind Queer Eye

Cartman's hand, or maybe Jennifer Lopez

saddened by sexual harassment

Phillip's Friend

definitely NOT just Michael Jackson in a mustache

smoke, drink coffee and hate conformity

a partner to both Mr. Garrison and Big Gay Al

Principal of the school

Raisins waitress

doesn't take kindly to many types, but is constantly reminded by bartender that any newcomer 'ain't hurtin' nobody'