Who said that? (The Simpsons)

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Can you name the Simpons character who said the quote?

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quoteCharacter
'Can't talk, keeping myself in a state of cat like readiness.'
'No, now that I'm off-duty, I'm the world's worst soccer coach.'
'They were bigger than Jesus!'
'As long as you're doing things for me, will you tie up your bathrobe when you walk around the house?'
'There's no justice like angry-mob justice.'
'You know what this reminds me of? My Icelandic boyhood.'
'Ow, my eye. I'm not supposed to get pudding in it.'
''Inflammable' means flammable? What a country.'
'They call 'em 'fingers,' but I never see 'em fing. Oh wait, there they go.'
'What's wrong with this country? Can't a man walk down the street without being offered a job?'
'Uh, did I say corpse hatch? I meant innocence tube.'
'Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?'
quoteCharacter
'I can't go to juvie, they use guys like me as currency.'
'Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.'
'They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants.'
'I look like cable T.V... '
'How many monkey butlers will there be?'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer.'
'I make a lot of graphs.'
'The faithful people at the Global Positioning System, is all the companionship I need...'
'Silly customer, you cannot hurt a twinkie.'
'You can't let a single bad experience scare you away from drugs.'

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