Who said that? (Gilmore Girls)

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Can you name the the Gilmore Girls character who said the quote?

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QuoteCharacter
'Stick a mad pack of wolves on it, douse it with lighter fluid and turn it into ash, I cannot wear that dress!'
'This is you in 20 years! 'Whos is this?', I swear.'
'You have to tell me what it means. Is it 'yes?' Is it 'no?' I can't feel my right elbow any more. I don't even know why, but I... I can't.'
'I hear he controls the weather and wrote the screenplay to Glitter!'
'Call me Belinda, 'cause my lips are sealed!'
'Date.'I can't date. I'm not genetically set up for it.'
'And she's reading again. How novel.'
'It's just a contest Paris. It's not like you get a car or a lifetime supply of Rice-A-Roni.'
QuoteCharacter
'One bag of coffee per cup of water, right?'
'Sorry, I'd do a silly walk, but I'm not feeling very John Cleese right now.'
'Now, did anyone ever to tell you to picture the audience in their underwear? Well, don't do it. I did it once and I had nightmares for a week. Bulgarians in Speedos.'
'Okay. I remember something about Rome. Rome. Rome. Romans live there. Audrey Hepburn took a holiday there. It's the name of a B52s song.'
'...Hello strange man in the corner is it alright if I quit this contest!'
'Um, no, the punch line ruined your joke.'
'My girlfriend's the ****! My girlfriend's the ****!'
'Well, Taylor, I'm a two inch kinda guy.'

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