| FML | Song | Artist |
| Today, I gave her all I had. She tossed it in the trash. FML. | |
| Today, I found out what it means to her. And then she socked it to me! FML. | |
| Today, I told her I would love her to the end of time. Now I'm praying for the end of time. FML. | |
| Today, they said I was high classed. That was just a lie. FML. | |
| Today, she so excited, tomorrow is Saturday! But I have to work. FML. | |
| Today, no one told me when to run. I missed the starting gun. FML. | |
| Today, it started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? FML. | |
| Today, I have lost the will to live. Simply nothing more to give. FML. | |
| Today, I told her that I loved her more. She just kept counting. FML. | |
| Today, he didn't want my war machines or my ghetto scenes. He's gonna leave me. FML. | |
| Today, I was speeding away but I crashed. I thought I was James Dean for a day. FML. | |
| Today, I closed my eyes, only for a moment. The moment's gone, and now I see all that we are. FML. | |
| Today, I g-g-got old. I had hoped to d-d-die by now. FML. | |
| Today, she wouldn't do it like they do on the Discovery channel. FML. | |
| Today, I lost something I can't replace. Tears stream down my face. FML. | |
| | FML | Song | Artist |
| Today, she gave me nothin' now it's all I got. FML. | |
| Today, I didn't stick up for myself. The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care. Right? FML. | |
| Today, I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac. Don't look back... I can never look back. FML. | |
| Today, they didn't have anything without spam. I DON'T LIKE SPAM! FML. | |
| Today, my thirteen-month old baby broke the lookin' glass. FML. | |
| Today, I had her heart in my hand, but I played it to the beat. FML. | |
| Today, this ever changing world made me give in and cry. FML. | |
| Today, this creepy guy was stalking me. Yes, that's Mr. Mister playing, now get lost! FML. | |
| Today, I found my friends. They're in my head. FML. | |
| Today, this chick starts moving in on my boyfriend. Hey, hey, you, you… I don't like you either! FML. | |
| Today, in my head, in my head, they're still fighting. FML. | |
| Today, I got a weave and fixed my nose, 'cause you said so. But inside I'm blue. FML. | |
| Today, all my hope is gone. I've already waited too long. FML. | |
Today, I spoke in class. FML. | |
| Today, I saw you driving 'round town with the girl I love. I'm like, FY! | |
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