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Rodney Dangerfield One Liners
Just For Fun
Can you name the words to complete these classic Rodney Dangerfield one-liners?
Featured Aug 10, 2011
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How to Play
Click the green button to start and enter the correct answers below
"It's not easy being me." But hopefully it's easier playing this quiz!
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy.
I told him I want a ______ opinion.
He said okay, you're ugly too.
I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, `Come on over, there's nobody home.'
I went over. There was _______ home.
I'm so ____, my father carried around a picture
of the kid who came with his wallet.
When my parents got ________, there was a
custody fight over me.
Nobody showed up.
I once went out with this wild girl.
She made ______ toast and got her
tongue caught in the toaster.
My wife has to be the worst ____.
Her specialty is indigestion.
One year they asked me to be the poster boy.
For _____ control.
I haven't spoken to my ____ in years.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
My cousin is gay.
I always tell him that in our family tree,
he's in the _____ section.
I was so poor growing up.
If I wasn't born a ___, I'd have nothing to play with.
I found there's only one way to look thin:
hang out with ___ people.
When my old man wanted sex,
my mother would show him a _______ of me
I _____ too much. The last time I gave a
urine sample it had an olive in it.
I'm getting old.
Now I'm taking Viagra and drinking _____ juice.
I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Boy, is my wife stupid.
It takes her an
hour and a half to watch '__ Minutes'.
My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer.
It was in a ___.
My wife was afraid of the dark.
Then she saw me naked and now she's
afraid of the _____.
My sex life is terrible;
my wife put a ______ over our bed.
She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date,
I asked her if I could give her a goodnight
kiss on the _____. She bent over.
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me.
Just the other night she called me from a _____.
I looked up my family ____
and found out I was the sap.
I met the Surgeon General.
He offered me a _________.
My wife has to be the worst cook.
In my house, we pray AFTER we ___.
I went to a discount _______ parlor.
It was self service.
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