Rodney Dangerfield One Liners

Random Just For Fun or Word Play Quiz

Can you name the words to complete these classic Rodney Dangerfield one-liners?

Updated Aug 10, 2011

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JokeWord
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy.
I told him I want a ______ opinion.
He said okay, you're ugly too.
I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, `Come on over, there's nobody home.'
I went over. There was _______ home.
I'm so ____, my father carried around a picture
of the kid who came with his wallet.
When my parents got ________, there was a
custody fight over me.
Nobody showed up.
I once went out with this wild girl.
She made ______ toast and got her
tongue caught in the toaster.
My wife has to be the worst ____.
Her specialty is indigestion.
One year they asked me to be the poster boy.
For _____ control.
I haven't spoken to my ____ in years.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
My cousin is gay.
I always tell him that in our family tree,
he's in the _____ section.
I was so poor growing up.
If I wasn't born a ___, I'd have nothing to play with.
I found there's only one way to look thin:
hang out with ___ people.
When my old man wanted sex,
my mother would show him a _______ of me
JokeWord
I _____ too much. The last time I gave a
urine sample it had an olive in it.
I'm getting old.
Now I'm taking Viagra and drinking _____ juice.
I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Boy, is my wife stupid.
It takes her an
hour and a half to watch '__ Minutes'.
My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer.
It was in a ___.
My wife was afraid of the dark.
Then she saw me naked and now she's
afraid of the _____.
My sex life is terrible;
my wife put a ______ over our bed.
She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date,
I asked her if I could give her a goodnight
kiss on the _____. She bent over.
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me.
Just the other night she called me from a _____.
I looked up my family ____
and found out I was the sap.
I met the Surgeon General.
He offered me a _________.
My wife has to be the worst cook.
In my house, we pray AFTER we ___.
I went to a discount _______ parlor.
It was self service.

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