|My psychiatrist told me I was crazy.|
I told him I want a ______ opinion.
He said okay, you're ugly too.
|I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, `Come on over, there's nobody home.'|
I went over. There was _______ home.
|I'm so ____, my father carried around a picture|
of the kid who came with his wallet.
|When my parents got ________, there was a|
custody fight over me.
Nobody showed up.
|I once went out with this wild girl.|
She made ______ toast and got her
tongue caught in the toaster.
|My wife has to be the worst ____. |
Her specialty is indigestion.
|One year they asked me to be the poster boy.|
For _____ control.
|I haven't spoken to my ____ in years.|
I didn't want to interrupt her.
|My cousin is gay.|
I always tell him that in our family tree,
he's in the _____ section.
|I was so poor growing up. |
If I wasn't born a ___, I'd have nothing to play with.
|I found there's only one way to look thin:|
hang out with ___ people.
|When my old man wanted sex,|
my mother would show him a _______ of me
|I _____ too much. The last time I gave a|
urine sample it had an olive in it.
|I'm getting old.|
Now I'm taking Viagra and drinking _____ juice.
I don't know if I'm coming or going.
|Boy, is my wife stupid.|
It takes her an
hour and a half to watch '__ Minutes'.
|My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer.|
It was in a ___.
|My wife was afraid of the dark. |
Then she saw me naked and now she's
afraid of the _____.
|My sex life is terrible;|
my wife put a ______ over our bed.
She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
|I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date,|
I asked her if I could give her a goodnight
kiss on the _____. She bent over.
|During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. |
Just the other night she called me from a _____.
|I looked up my family ____|
and found out I was the sap.
|I met the Surgeon General.|
He offered me a _________.
|My wife has to be the worst cook.|
In my house, we pray AFTER we ___.
|I went to a discount _______ parlor.|
It was self service.
Rodney Dangerfield One Liners Quiz
- Created May 23, 2011 in Just For Fun
- Featured Aug 10, 2011
- Game Plays 12,867
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