| Joke | Word |
|---|
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy.
I told him I want a ______ opinion.
He said okay, you're ugly too. | |
I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, `Come on over, there's nobody home.'
I went over. There was _______ home. | |
I'm so ____, my father carried around a picture
of the kid who came with his wallet. | |
When my parents got ________, there was a
custody fight over me.
Nobody showed up. | |
I once went out with this wild girl.
She made ______ toast and got her
tongue caught in the toaster. | |
My wife has to be the worst ____.
Her specialty is indigestion. | |
One year they asked me to be the poster boy.
For _____ control. | |
I haven't spoken to my ____ in years.
I didn't want to interrupt her. | |
My cousin is gay.
I always tell him that in our family tree,
he's in the _____ section. | |
I was so poor growing up.
If I wasn't born a ___, I'd have nothing to play with. | |
I found there's only one way to look thin:
hang out with ___ people. | |
When my old man wanted sex,
my mother would show him a _______ of me | |
| | Joke | Word |
|---|
I _____ too much. The last time I gave a
urine sample it had an olive in it. | |
I'm getting old.
Now I'm taking Viagra and drinking _____ juice.
I don't know if I'm coming or going. | |
Boy, is my wife stupid.
It takes her an
hour and a half to watch '__ Minutes'. | |
My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer.
It was in a ___. | |
My wife was afraid of the dark.
Then she saw me naked and now she's
afraid of the _____. | |
My sex life is terrible;
my wife put a ______ over our bed.
She says she likes to watch herself laugh. | |
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date,
I asked her if I could give her a goodnight
kiss on the _____. She bent over. | |
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me.
Just the other night she called me from a _____. | |
I looked up my family ____
and found out I was the sap. | |
I met the Surgeon General.
He offered me a _________. | |
My wife has to be the worst cook.
In my house, we pray AFTER we ___. | |
I went to a discount _______ parlor.
It was self service. | |
|
Mitch Hedberg Jokes
Horror Film Limericks
Classic Clickable Jokes III
