RICARDO January 19, 1953: Enrique and Lucille are proud first-time parents to 'Little Ricky'. You two got some 'splaining to do! Ricky is also welcomed by Godparents Ethel and Fred.
SCULLY 05-20-2001: William. Born to Dana and Fox, maybe, we don't really know and it wasn't really clear. Miraculously brought into this world. And perhaps other worlds. The youth is out there.
Twin-Bings! May 6th, 2004: To everyone's surprise, including their surrogate mom, it's twins! Welcome Erica and Jack. Congrats to the Big Fat Goalie and Sir Limps-a-lot, love from The Gang!
MORGAN, Rita Sept 26th, 2010 - It is with unbearable grief that the family of Rita Morgan (nee Brandon) announce her rather violent passing in her home. Missed dearly by her husband and children, Astor, Cody and Harrison. Donations to the Miami Metro Police Trust fund.
In Memoriam ROMANO, Dr. Robert You were a fairly nasty man, But you were a great doctor, First your arm, then your life, You sure had a thing for copters!
I'll always remember you, Elizabeth Corday
CORRECTION It is with regret that we erroneously posted the death announcement of Bobby Ewing last week. Apparently it was all a bad dream. Please disregard. Apologies to the families from everyone at The Sporcle Classifieds. Our bad.
Lost and Found
Found Sinister cat. Reddish-orange with white face/chest. Found in the forest. If yours, please call Papa or Grouchy or Greedy or Brainy or Dreamy or Jokey or Vanity or…
LOST Plot. If found please dial 4 8 15 16 23 42 on a rotary phone every 108 minutes, or come down the hatch to the ancient frozen donkey wheel yesterday. Wait... what? Ask for the Smoke Monster.
Sunglasses I… lost my sunglasses. They are manly, yet sensitive. Well used. They have a… 'Big H' inscribed on the side. E-mail email@example.com
Book Your Cruise Today! Just sit right back and let Mighty Sailin' Man Excursions do the work. One, two and even three-hour tours. Yes, three-hour tours! Groups up to five. www.ssminnow.com
Big Pete's House of Munch Come down for some good old fashioned Family meals! Pancakes, broccoli, Alphabits, Twinkies, ice cream (no sprinkles), blueberries, tuna salad and everything in between. No shirt, no shoes, no legs, NO SERVICE!
ANIMAL LICENCES Licences for cats, dogs, fruit-bats, fish (halibut) and half-bees. Contact Eric near the Ministry of Silly Walks. Also selling parrots, talking slugs and several varieties of cheese.
Articles For Sale
Shoes White sneakers, womens, bi-curious, size 7. Contact Liz on my pager at 030-7625.
It's once again. Back. Up. For. Grabs.
Stapler Slightly dried Jell-o stains, but otherwise in smashing condition! Call Gareth Keenan, Assistant Regional Manager and Team Leader, Wernham Hogg (0)8 4363 3423
Your Country Needs YOU! Thousands of Army jobs need filling! We are specifically in desperate need of doctors, surgeons, nurses, chaplains etc for Mobile Army Surgical Hospitals in South Korea. Enlist NOW! You won't be forgotten. Ref id #4077
LOVE MUSIC? Nationally syndicated talent competition looking, once again, for obnoxious and/or neurotic and/or overly critical judges for upcoming shows. Must have musical ability and/or production experience and/or bloated opinions. If you have a talk show, that's a plus! Anyone with ears and a mouth will do, really. Please... someone. Anyone? Text or call Randy @ 1-866-43657-01, 1-866-43657-02 or 1-866-43657-03 to cast your résumé.
Teachers Are you creative, optimistic, dramatic, eccentric, delusional, irrational or simply insane? Love music? Or radically detest music? Lima, Ohio high-school now hiring positions for the upcoming school year. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.