Hawkeye: Here's one in crayon, must be for Charles.
Reporter: EEG? Hawkeye: Yeah, electroencephalogram. Reporter: How do you spell that?
Charles: Just a minute! You handle our food and dig latrines?
Radar: I gotta go, Sparky. Col. Flagg just walked in. Flagg: Alright, what tipped you off?
Hawkeye: [Writing] It's very quiet at the moment, Dad. The only man in sight is Radar O'Reilly, an amazing kid. I've never put much stock in E.S.P. but if it is possible for one person to read another person's mind Radar has that ability, the little fink.
Hawkeye: That's my midnight snack.Klinger: 1943. These beans are from World War II.
B.J.: Can't you do something about Frank? Potter: Like sit him down and have a talk with him? Hawkeye: No, like stand him up and have him shot!
Henry: There are certain rules about a war. And rule number one is young men die...
Henry: I must be going crazy.
Margaret: People who don't have a stomach for this shouldn't be here.
Hawkeye: Charles, how come you never sweat?
Frank: I'm fine! I'm completely fine! The last thing I'm gonna give you two ghouls is any of my blood!
Flagg: This won't look good on your record. Frank: But Colonel, it's just Reader's Digest.
Flagg: What's your clearance?
Trapper: You're gonna kill yourself. Flagg: If I have to. Trapper: Hey, that's the spirit.
B.J.: Hawkeye, the tent is spinning around. Hawkeye: Which way? B.J.: Clockwise.
B.J.: We're lost. Hawkeye: Lost? As in, 'Where the hell are we'? B.J.: Not totally lost, we're still in Asia. Hawkeye: You said this is a shortcut!
Hawkeye: The mess tent is right across the street. B.J.: Dinner is at seven.
Frank: What I don't understand is why do people take an instant dislike to me?
Frank: We can't be lost.
Frank: Anyone caught with an intoxicating beverage will be severely disciplined.
Barker: Nurse, is everyone in this outfit crazy?
Hawkeye: We've just heard that General Eisenhower's gonna run for president…
Hawkeye: You've got to have a pair of pajamas, look around. You had a pair when you got here.