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Alex: Dad, we haven't had lunch yet
I wish I were one of those people who thrives on the danger of leading a double life
I think I know how to pick up a fourteen year old girl
Alex: Dad?
Why do I have to watch a French movie?
Alex is teaching herself chinese
Claire's a perfectionist, which sometimes is a good thing
I’ve always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends
I’ve been practicing like crazy all of my cowboy skills, shootin’, ropin’, pancake eatin’. Why?
I always felt bad for people with emotionally distant fathers; it turns out I’m one of them
Believe me, you don’t want to make that call to a bunch of former male cheerleaders
I’ll admit it. I’m turned on by powerful women. Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condolezza Rice, Serena Williams…
The iPad comes out on my actual birthday
It was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe?
Do you like my suit? You didn't say anything other than it's too tight
The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere, but not me
What was on my mind as I was walking that wire? I was thinking, if I can do this..
Claire: Are you watching Gloria reflected in my sunglasses?
You don't trust bad boys
I'm sorry
Alex: Dumb guys go for dumb girls and smart guys go for dumb girls. What do smart girls get?
You know how many times you've seen me fall off this ladder?
Haley: In Legally Blonde, Elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cute
Luke: Now give me sad. Sadder. Think of me going off to college. Why are you smiling?
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