I mean, Jobs was a poser. He didn't even write code.
I memorized the hexadecimal times tables when I was 14 writing machine code, okay? Ask me what 9 times F is.
It's weird. They always travel in groups of five. These programmers: there's always a tall skinny white guy, short skinny Asian guy, fat guy with a ponytail, some guy with crazy facial hair, and then an East Indian guy. It's like they trade guys until they all have the right group.
Let's not turn this into a corporate cult, you know, with bike meetings and voluntary retreats that are actually mandatory, claim to make the world a better place all the time. Let's uh...let's just think different. Uh, don't think different. That's Apple. Umm...let's just...let's just do it.
Erlich, I have 48 hours. Are you gonna help me with this business plan or not?
Don't pander to me! Peter Gregory said specifically to trim the fat.
While you were busy minoring in gender studies and singing a capella at Sarah Lawrence, I was gaining root access to NSA servers. I was one click away from starting a second Iranian revolution.
What if Big Head is sort of like a floating utility player? Kind of like a jack of all trades?
Not if they get to market before us. Inferior products win out all the time.
No, it's not great news. We love the name 'Pied Piper.' It's a classic fairy tale.
Richard, if we are going to change the name, we need to do it now. Names stick. My name's only Jared because Gavin called me that on my first day. My real name is Donald.
I wish this was Roman times, you know? Life was simpler back then.
Lunch? Arby's on El Camino? I'll drive.
You know, I turned down ten million dollars to build this thing. You want vision? I will show you f**king vision.
That was amazing. That was, like, everything in my head but, like, clear. Did you just make that up on the spot?
Guys? I guess you didn't see the sign. We're actually having a meeting here.
Are you still enjoying your asparagus, sir?
I saw that Pied Piper is in the Start-Up Battlefield at TechCrunch Disrupt. It inspired me to call TechCrunch and offer to be their keynote speaker. They were quite accommodating. Especially when I said that I'd make the event the grand unveiling of Nucleus. So...I will see you all at the conference.
Look at this...left from the previous tenant! Unbelievable. I can't believe I didn't enter the garage until this point. I mean, is that marijuanas?
Uh, so I have a Model U.N. thing on Monday, but maybe I could burn through your gig over the weekend.
Jesus, where did he get Amy Winehouse from? I mean, I'd have sex with that if you hose the Gilfoyle off of her.
Destination overide. New destination: One Gregory Drive, Arallon. Distance to destination: 4,126 miles. Enjoy your ride.
What is this...? Did you overwrite the data schema? Why would you do this? You don't ever do this!
Don't talk to me while I'm in the bathroom, please.
Jesus, Cher, are you bringing your whole closet?
Okay, guys? This place is a vortex of distraction. Normally, the tech world is 2% women. Guys, these next 3 days? 15%.
ID-Keen. It's this facial-recognition app that Monica put on our phones. You just point it at anybody. It tells you who they are and how important they are to the conference.
I mean, they just completely reverse-engineered our entire compression engine.
Well, I'll admit I'm sleep-challenged. I just spent four days trapped in a steel box out on an oil rig full of robot forklifts. So that was hard, but...I'm back. I am recovering. And I am focused, and we're gonna pivot. Don't lose faith, guys. Right? Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. We've got a great name, we've got a great team, we've got a great logo, and we've got a great name. Now we just need an idea. Let's pivot! Let's pivot!
Adderall. This is a highly-controlled substance. Are these yours?
That's why we're presenting tomorrow. And you know what? We're going to win. Yeah. We're gonna win even if I have to go into the auditorium and personally jerk off every guy in the audience.