| Description | Character |
| Splitting her time between being an overly sexual doctors assistant and being an expert marksman | |
| Sometimes sprouts wings when he fights, likely against his father, grandfather or even great grandfather | |
| Head of criminal organisation Shadaloo. Switched names with a beautiful cagefighter | |
| Mother human, father demon. He prefers his mother's side. And strawberry sundaes | |
| SOLDIER, swordsman and even a one-winged angel! | |
| 'Henshin-a-go-go, baby!' | |
| Played in an Oscar-worthy performance by Jean-Claude van Damme | |
| One of the first video game zombie fighters, still lives today to wear green yet another day | |
| Groovy dude. He'll either beat you with his Capoeira or his disco dancing | |
| Wants you to get over there | |
| | Description | Character |
| Wow, when he objects, he makes a really big deal out of it | |
| He looks very very edible, but as it turns out, he is the one doing all the eating and swallowing! | |
| He really goes bananas when he sees Jumpman.. or whatever his name is | |
| Hmm he looks like a pie. I bet he'd taste like cherry. Or ghost | |
| Ran an orphanage. Then she became posessed, learnt magic and tried to take over the world | |
| Ok, I'll finish this game on hard and under x hours.. ok, going good.. ok almost there.. yes I did it and OMG SHE IS A GIRL!?! | |
| Went to kill his enemies, killed them, became one of them, then lost his status.. so THAT's Sparta! | |
| The most talked about boobs in gaming history | |
| So you're saying you're not the exact same person we saw in the last town? You just conveniently look exactly the same and have the exact same proffession? | |
| Mute contortionist in S&M outfit. DO NOT APPROACH! HIGHLY DANGEROUS! | |
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