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Finish the Famous Joke
These jokes by famous stand-up comics are missing a word. Can you click it?
Updated Sep 11, 2014
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How to Play
Click the green button to start and click the correct answers below
Finish the Funny Fortune Cookie
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed ___.
A cannibal is a guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the ___.
I do not participate in any sport with ___ at the bottom of a hill.
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “___” to have an “s” in it?
A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the ___ ones who need the advice.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we ___.
I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of ___.
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ___.
Promised some people this week that I would water their plants and take care of their animals while they went on vacation. Bad idea. The people are ___.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small ___.
When I was a kid, I had dyslexia. I would write about it in my '___.'
Traffic signals in New York are just rough ___.
My love life is like a fairy tale. It's ___.
You know what burns me? ___.
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a ___ named after me.
If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out ___.
I intend to live forever, or ___ trying.
A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you ___.
Contraceptives should be used on all ___ occasions.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at ___.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my ___ covers them.
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting ___.
When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea that his first name was ___.
I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my ___ are huge.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more ___.
What's another word for ___?
My wife dresses to kill. She ___ the same way.
If at first you don't succeed, find out if the ___ gets anything.
-William Lyon Phelps
As women well know, the reason men are no good at playing dumb is most of the time we’re not ___.
The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're ___ again.
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