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/ Sporcle Testing Facility
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Can you name the word ladder and arithmetic solutions without trying to escape from the facility please?
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Welcome to Sporcle Testing Facility. You are, at no point, allowed to leave the facility. That should not be a problem, though, as there is no way out of the testing area... Is there?
Word Ladder: Put on a Happy Face
To begin this quiz, type 'START.' For a brief tutorial, type 'HELP.' To end the quiz at any time, type 'THE END.'
Without warning, the Grand Elder Swordfish busts through the floor beneath you. 'WHO DARES DISTURBE MY SLUMBER?' You coyly back away, turn around, and run like crazy.
Claire Redfield bursts into the room and tosses you a pair of gold lugers. The two of you mow through legions of zombified guards and bust out of the base! Cool!
'Return to the past! Now!' A bright light envelops the room! . . . . . . . . . ...You awaken in your cell. It's just another, mundane day at the facility.
I actually haven't seen much of that series yet, but if you want a quick reference, I can throw memes at you: ALL HAIL BRITANNIA!
.- .-- --..-- --. .-. . .- - ... - --- .--. -.-- --- ..- -... .-. --- -.- . - .... . --.- ..- .. --.. ... - --- .--.
You step into the doorway, not knowing where it leads or how it even exists. What just happened? You don't know. I don't think anyone will ever know.
That's my idea of a good time too! Let's go!
The strange man runs through the arch and quickly hides in the room to the right. But where are the guards? Here they come now! Running straight at you! Oh, poop.
Hey! You don't have the key! You just tried to cheat! Get out of my quiz!
It's not very effective... Enemy CHARIZARD used BLAST BURN! SUBJECT #3229 fainted!
Is a werewolfbot a robot that turns into a werewolf under a full moon, or a human that turns into a wolfbot? You probably don't have time to ponder that right now.
You picked the wrong tuber! I hate when that happens! Don't dwell on it right now, though, because the vampirebot is leaping for your neck!
You've entered a dark room. There's writing all over the walls: ']NEKAWA[ EPYT DNA NIAGA TRATS' over and over again. You feel very uncomfortable. There's a loud crash! What wa-
You walk down to the end of the hallway and find a large arch! That must be the way out! You loudly run forward, then notice the battalion of guards in front of said arch. Oops.
You decide to trust his plan and allow yourself to be apprehended. I'm sure he'll come back to help you. Any second now. Please?
Is it just me, or did it just get really hot in here?
The last thing you remember is a very loud explosion. I guess that wasn't the right button.
Are you serious? You turn back, find the guard, and wind up back in captivity. What did you expect?
'HELP! I'VE BEEN TRAPPED HERE BY-' Before you can finish, the guard slams you to the ground. Next time, make sure you know who you're calling out to!
'Thank you very much for your obedience. Now, please return to your cell.' Somehow, you feel like you missed out on a grand adventure.
In your hesitation, the panel closes back up. 'Due to technical difficulties, the testing period will end early today.' As you walk back to your cell, you can't help but wonder…
You quietly leave the testing area and walk back to your cell. The door closes behind you. Today was just another uneventful day.
Are you really still at it? Fine! Go ahead! I don't care! Finish the word, if you have the guts. I dare you. I double dare you! See what happens! (HINT: IT WILL BE NOTHING!!!1!!)
LALALALALALALALALALALAICAN'THEARYOULALALALALALALA LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA
And I mean way down there. Like, seriously, these are pretty long messages. You'll awkwardly have to look down if you want to continue the adventure. You should just stop now.
Are you still trying? I am being perfectly honest right now: That word will not activate anything in this quiz. Look, you're just pushing the rest of the quiz down to the bottom.
You totally are! Stop that right now! That won't activate anything in this quiz.
Are you trying to type what I think you're trying to type?
A door has opened in the space behind you. A bright light shines from beyond its threshold.
The blue room's emergency door activates and the version of you on the monitor escapes. As you watch, a comforting warmth spreads through your body.
You type out a frantic message telling the reader to visit the Blue Testing Room's console. You then alter the word ladder to trigger the emergency escape.
The display on the red room's console changes: '30 + (5 + 10 / 5'. You've changed it!
You can clearly see the red room's console from your monitor. The screen there reads: '30 + (5 + 10 / 5)'. Without thinking, your finger hovers over the 'Backspace' button.
It's another computer. The monitor displays the Red Testing Room. Huh? You're on the screen!
Though disoriented, you keep walking forward. There's something glowing in the distance, and you're compelled to reach it.
After a while, the walls stop looking like walls, and the floor and ceiling seems to fade. It's as though you're staring into the night sky in all directions.
You walk down a long, narrow, dark hallway. As your eyes adjust to the dim light, you become more uncomfortable. Something just feels… off.
You stumble around for a bit and find a doorway. You carefully walk through the threshold.
You wake up in a dark room. What is this place?
You're free! For the first time in your life, you can do anything you want! What do you want to do first?
You leap out of the doorway, striking a pose as the facility explodes behind you. You are awesome!
You can't possibly be serious.
'Please do not go. I will be very lonely without you.'
The shutter opens! You can escape!
…And one more non-consecutive letter!
Change two consecutive letters!
Change two consecutive letters! Go!
Change two consecutive letters again!
Change two consecutive letters this time!
Clear! Quickly, go to the blue console!
You have no time to lose! You quickly run to the red console and begin the quiz!
'I am not sure what I was thinking when I arranged things this way, to be honest. However, it does not matter, as you will never be able to clear those quizzes on time.'
'For your convenience, however, the steel shutter may be removed by finishing the quizzes on the two consoles in this room.'
'You have no escape. I have already locked the door behind you, and I have sealed the exit with that large steel shutter you noticed earlier.'
'I will trigger a localized explosion powerful enough to level this entire floor. You can find the countdown to detonation on the top-right corner of your screen.'
A voice projects from the speakers. It's the GLaDOS knockoff! 'Hello Subject #3229. You have forced my hand.'
You step onto a catwalk. There's a red console on the wall to your left, a blue console on the wall to your right, and a huge steel shutter straight ahead.
This is the final stretch! If you want to start again from here, just remember the code 'GFINALE'.
That's right. It doesn't matter how it happened. All that matters is that your freedom is on the other side of that doorway. It's time to end this!
Somehow, the explosion that was too weak to hurt you has managed to dislodge the door. How did that happen?
Before you can press a button, the remote explodes! That was inconvenient! At least you're not hurt.
You step out into a wide area. There's a huge arch to your left and a door with an ornate lock on the right.
Nothing. Maybe you'll need to apply the code elsewhere in the facility.
Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B…
The room goes dark. Writing appears on the walls: 'CONTRA CODE' - Maybe you should enter it on the remote?
Hey, a button lit up! Press it?
The elevator takes you to an empty room with plain, white walls. There's a door on the other side.
The key fits!
You see the archway guards carrying the strange man back out of the room. Hey, he dropped his key! Score!
You slam the door shut and press hard against it. Something crashes into the door, and there are sounds of a struggle. Now it's quiet again.
It's a strange, empty room with plain white walls. There's an elevator on the other end. Suddenly, you hear footsteps in the main room. Investigate them?
Suddenly, you hear footsteps from behind you! Lots of them! And they're running! Hide in the room!
Since you don't have the key, you look around instead. There's another door to the right. Explore it?
There's a door ahead with a large, elaborate lock. I wonder if the strange man's key will fit here. Did you manage to get it from him?
You press the 'Level up' button on the remote. An elevator opens in the wall in front of you and you step inside. You don't know where it will take you, but you're not concerned.
It's super effective! Enemy CHARIZARDBOT exploded! You gained a bazillion experience points!
The werewolf explodes. Another robot emerges to your right. It's… a Charizard?! Hit another button!
The vampire explodes, but a robot werewolf leaps from a panel to your left! Three more buttons light up on the remote, each labeled with chemical symbols. Press one!
A robotic vampire leaps out! Three buttons light up on the remote, each with a different icon. Press one?
The moment you touch the remote, a panel opens in the wall in front of you. There's something there! Prepare yourself!
You can't take the pedestal because it's bolted to the floor. Want to take the remote instead?
Well, you can't exactly do anything else down here.
At the base of the steps is a circular room. At the center of the room is a pedestal bearing a strange remote. Take it?
You walk towards the arch. 'Hey!' One guard breaks from the pack and rushes you. You won't have any of that. One punch, and the coast is clear. You coolly step through the arch.
Cool. Are you ready to continue?
The man runs the other way down the hall as you retreat into the tunnel. Luckily for you, every single guard chooses to go after the strange man instead of you.
There's a large battalion of guards standing in front of a large arch at the end of the hallway.
The man tackles you through the door. The key slips from your hand and slides into the wide hallway. The man leaps and grabs it. 'I've got it!' he shouts. He then freezes.
You don't know kung-fu!
The man has caught up to you!
There's a wooden door at the end of the tunnel!
CRASH! Left! I said left!
A rope swing over a chasm!
There's a ledge!
As you climb the ladder, you hear the strange man chasing you. You're at the top now! Keep running!
There's a tight left corner up ahead!
There's a tight right corner up ahead!
Two doors this time!
The path splits!
Two ladders this time!
Two more staircases!
There are two staircases up ahead!
You bolt forth and grab the key. You pay no attention to the man's shouts as you keep running forward.
Just take the key!
You ninja down the tunnel. You're not sure what you're planning, but it's gonna be good. Then, you see a chance: The man takes off his pendant. Make your move!
'Fine! You'll wish you'd helped me!' And with that, the strange man disappears into his tunnel. It's time to move on… Or is it?
You stand before the arch. The guards are gone. You feel deep in your heart that the endgame is near. Your pulse racing, you slowly step through into the next room.
'Look over there!' The strange man freezes in place as every guard turns around simultaneously. After an awkward pause, the guards all chase after the man, leaving you alone.
Smack! What the? The tunnel closed back up! As the guards catch up to you and apprehend you, you notice the strange man sneakily creep out of the lever room door.
Sure enough, there's a battalion of guards standing in front of a large arch at the end of the hallway. You holler to catch their attention and bolt back down the hallway.
'Thank you! Here's what you must do: Down the hallway is a bunch of guards blocking the exit. I need you to lure them back here.'
'I've been trapped here for years. I can maneuver around this facility better than anyone else, and I know the way out, but I cannot escape without assistance. Will you help?'
A segment of the wall to your left opens up. A man in a tattered robe stands at the entrance to a tunnel. Around his neck is a pendant that looks like… A key? What's he saying?
The door swings open. You exit the room into a long, wide hallway, when suddenly, you hear a voice call for you. Do you respond?
Upstairs, you find a room with another locked door. The room is empty except for two levers and one unconscious, badly charred guard. Uh… Choose a lever?
You hear a deep rumbling as the wall in front of you slides open. Beyond it is a stairwell with steps going to floors above and below you. Where will you go?
Click! Huh? Nothing happened! Try another button!
Hey, this doesn't look like an exit! It's a dead end! There's a panel here with four buttons labeled A-D from left to right. Press one?
Are you sure? Reading is good for the soul, after all. Well, just continue, I guess.
Aren't you quite the bookworm? I'll put them in the inventory (at the bottom of this column). Read them quickly and move on.
At the end of the hallway is a monitor room. There's a door marked 'Exit' on the opposite wall. Look! There are some security files on the console. Wanna read them?
You somehow managed to hide from the guard in a narrow, empty hallway. Cool! You're on your way to freedom!
As you approach a bend in the path, you hear someone running towards you from the opposite direction. What should you do?
And so begins your true adventure. Be careful: Some wrong choices from here on will result in a bad ending. If you want to start from here again, remember the code to the right!
'Very well, I shall alert the guards, and you will be very sorry that you have disobeyed me. Good riddance.'
'If you return to your cell, I will ensure that you receive an extra serving of dessert after your dinner tonight. I should remind you that our dessert is delicious.'
'I cannot be held accountable for any danger you may face in that very dangerous passageway. Please return to your cell, which is not dangerous, like that hallway is.'
You enter the passage. Your instructor's voice calls out: 'Where are you going? Please turn back and resume your quiz.'
A panel opens in the wall to your right. There's a passageway behind it! But where does it lead?
Your curiosity piqued, you return to the Blue Testing Room. Hey, there's a new clue on the word ladder!
'Thank you for your cooperation. Please return to your quarters.'
Sure enough, the screen now displays an equation. What just happened? You don't know, but for the first time, you have a decision to make.
Your instructor's voice emits from the speaker: 'Please disregard that glitch and resume the quiz. The proper equation should now be on the screen.'
A message appears on the screen: 'It worked! I've hacked into the system! If you're reading this, please go to the Blue Testing Room's console!'
Incorrect. Remember: Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally
'Today's quiz is a simple arithmetic test. Take the number in the left column and apply the operations on the right. The first hint is '5 + 5'. Good luck.'
You enter the red door on the far end of the room. As usual, you sit down at the console at the center of the next room. Today has been really mundane so far, hasn't it?
'Excellent job. Your results are being processed. Now, please proceed to the Red Testing Room.'
'I will provide the first hint for you: What is Sporcle Testing Facility to you?'
'Today, we will be experimenting with a new Word Ladder format, in which the clue to the next word is to the right of the word you just typed. Isn't that exciting?'
The cell door opens. You make your way down the familiar, empty hallway, enter the blue door at the end, and sit down at the console at the center of the room.
'I am now opening the door to your cell. Please proceed to the Blue Testing Room.'
'I will be your instructor for today. For some reason, I feel the need to remind you that, although I am a disembodied, robotic voice, I am most definitely not a GLaDOS knockoff.'
'Good morning, subject #3229. Prepare yourself for another workday at Sporcle Testing Facility, where new quizzes and formats are tested by live, human subjects.'
You awaken in your cell. It's just another, mundane day at the facility. A familiar voice emits from the speaker.
Some other segments of the quiz will require different inputs, but you should be able to maneuver the bulk of the adventure with this format. Good luck!
Okay, it's railroading time.
You've got it!
Yeah, just like that!
Occasionally, you'll see multiple codes in the column. Decide which option you want to take and type the corresponding code.
This code carries out the action that immediately precedes it.
To progress through this quiz, type the short code marked by brackets in the 'Code' column to the right.
Is it really safe to place the stairwell button directly between two functional self-destruct buttons? At least the third self-destruct button (the one on the far right) is busted.
Subject #3214 escaped two months ago and still remains at large. He continues to elude our guards by shamelessly tricking and betraying any allies he makes.
I doubt it was a good idea to leave the remote on an open pedestal. It controls everything in the base! Sure, there are robot guards there, but the remote controls them too!
The battalion on the upper floor's wide hallway is horribly incompetent. The guards all team up against one intruder, so if they have two targets, one always gets away!
The key to the front gate has been stolen! All guards, be on the lookout for an intruder!
Whose idea was it to put an emergency escape in the Blue Testing Room? And why can it be triggered by typing 'CODE' on the console? Seriously, who designed this?
I always forget which lever operates the door and which one triggers the flamethrowers, but I'm on duty today. The lever on the right is the safe one. I think. I'm, like, 90% sure.
Rumor has it that there is a space-time anomaly located somewhere deep within the facility. I'm sure it will never ever prove to be of any importance at all forever, though.
Aw, how sweet! You tried entering my username as an answer! Thank you for trying this quiz, which has spent over a year in development hell. I hope you're enjoying it!
Just between you and me, there are other easter egg codes, which activate hidden endings. Try any 'Code' you can think of. (Note: Kyrgyzstan is not one of them)
I don't know how you got ahold of that code, but in any case, here's the master code for this quiz. It'll open up every answer, including the endings, so use it responsibly.
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