Epic Movie Quotes

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Let off some steam, Bennett.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
Give these people air!
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
That's A Spicy Meatball!
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
I have got to get me one of these!
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
If He Dies.. He Dies
Time to nut up or shut up!
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
I drink your milkshake!
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
Are you not entertained?
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Dodge this.
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
I'm a stallion, baby!
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
Get away from her, you bitch!
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
I wish I knew how to quit you.
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
They're filming midgets!
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
I see dead people
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
You stand your ground and fight!
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Sanka... you dead?
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Attica! Attica!
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
I fart in your general direction.
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
Show Me the Money!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
It's been emotional
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family

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