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I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Are you not entertained?
If He Dies.. He Dies
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
Let off some steam, Bennett.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
I'm a stallion, baby!
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
I tea-bagged your drum set!
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
I fart in your general direction.
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
They're filming midgets!
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
I have got to get me one of these!
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
Sanka... you dead?
Get away from her, you bitch!
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
I drink your milkshake!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
That's A Spicy Meatball!
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Show Me the Money!
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
I see dead people
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
Attica! Attica!
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Give these people air!
Dodge this.
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
You stand your ground and fight!
Time to nut up or shut up!
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
It's been emotional
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.

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