Epic Movie Quotes

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I have got to get me one of these!
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I fart in your general direction.
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
Time to nut up or shut up!
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
It's been emotional
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
Sanka... you dead?
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Give these people air!
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
I see dead people
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
You stand your ground and fight!
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
If He Dies.. He Dies
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
I'm a stallion, baby!
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
I wish I knew how to quit you.
They're filming midgets!
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
Attica! Attica!
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
Get away from her, you bitch!
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
I drink your milkshake!
Dodge this.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
Show Me the Money!
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
That's A Spicy Meatball!
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
Let off some steam, Bennett.
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
Are you not entertained?
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
I was 27 years old the first time I died.

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