Epic Movie Quotes

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Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
I tea-bagged your drum set!
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
Are you not entertained?
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
You stand your ground and fight!
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
Time to nut up or shut up!
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
Dodge this.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
I fart in your general direction.
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
Sanka... you dead?
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Give these people air!
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
Get away from her, you bitch!
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
That's A Spicy Meatball!
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
A boy's best friend is his mother.
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
Let off some steam, Bennett.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
They're filming midgets!
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
It's been emotional
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
I have got to get me one of these!
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
I see dead people
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Attica! Attica!
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
I drink your milkshake!
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
If He Dies.. He Dies
Show Me the Money!
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
I wish I knew how to quit you.
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
I'm a stallion, baby!
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!

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