Epic Movie Quotes

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The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
Get away from her, you bitch!
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
If He Dies.. He Dies
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
A boy's best friend is his mother.
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
I fart in your general direction.
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
It's been emotional
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Sanka... you dead?
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
I see dead people
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
I drink your milkshake!
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
Let off some steam, Bennett.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
Attica! Attica!
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
That's A Spicy Meatball!
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Show Me the Money!
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
Time to nut up or shut up!
They're filming midgets!
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
You stand your ground and fight!
I have got to get me one of these!
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
Give these people air!
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
Dodge this.
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
I'm a stallion, baby!
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
Are you not entertained?
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
I was 27 years old the first time I died.

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