Epic Movie Quotes

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Time to nut up or shut up!
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Attica! Attica!
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
If He Dies.. He Dies
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
Let off some steam, Bennett.
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
They're filming midgets!
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
Get away from her, you bitch!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
It's been emotional
I see dead people
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
A boy's best friend is his mother.
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
Dodge this.
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
Give these people air!
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
I tea-bagged your drum set!
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
I have got to get me one of these!
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
You stand your ground and fight!
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
Are you not entertained?
Show Me the Money!
I'm a stallion, baby!
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
I drink your milkshake!
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
That's A Spicy Meatball!
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Sanka... you dead?
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
I fart in your general direction.

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