Epic Movie Quotes

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You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
That's A Spicy Meatball!
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
I have got to get me one of these!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
It's been emotional
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
Give these people air!
They're filming midgets!
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
Dodge this.
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
You stand your ground and fight!
I fart in your general direction.
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
Are you not entertained?
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Attica! Attica!
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
I drink your milkshake!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
Sanka... you dead?
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
I'm a stallion, baby!
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
I see dead people
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
Show Me the Money!
Time to nut up or shut up!
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
If He Dies.. He Dies
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
Get away from her, you bitch!
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
Let off some steam, Bennett.
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over

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