Epic Movie Quotes

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We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Sanka... you dead?
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
It's been emotional
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
Give these people air!
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
Time to nut up or shut up!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
I have got to get me one of these!
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
That's A Spicy Meatball!
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Get away from her, you bitch!
Let off some steam, Bennett.
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
I drink your milkshake!
I tea-bagged your drum set!
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
I see dead people
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Dodge this.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
If He Dies.. He Dies
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Show Me the Money!
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
I fart in your general direction.
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Attica! Attica!
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I'm a stallion, baby!
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
They're filming midgets!
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
You stand your ground and fight!
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
Are you not entertained?
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?

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