Epic Movie Quotes

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In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
Show Me the Money!
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
I see dead people
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
Get away from her, you bitch!
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Dodge this.
Let off some steam, Bennett.
I drink your milkshake!
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
I fart in your general direction.
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
I'm a stallion, baby!
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
Time to nut up or shut up!
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
It's been emotional
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
Give these people air!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
They're filming midgets!
You stand your ground and fight!
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
A boy's best friend is his mother.
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
If He Dies.. He Dies
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
That's A Spicy Meatball!
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Attica! Attica!
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
Are you not entertained?
Sanka... you dead?
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
I tea-bagged your drum set!
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
I have got to get me one of these!

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