Epic Movie Quotes

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I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
That's A Spicy Meatball!
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
I wish I knew how to quit you.
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Are you not entertained?
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
I have got to get me one of these!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
I see dead people
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
Attica! Attica!
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
I'm a stallion, baby!
Let off some steam, Bennett.
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Sanka... you dead?
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
I drink your milkshake!
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
You stand your ground and fight!
Time to nut up or shut up!
They're filming midgets!
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Show Me the Money!
I fart in your general direction.
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
I tea-bagged your drum set!
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
If He Dies.. He Dies
Get away from her, you bitch!
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
Give these people air!
Dodge this.
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
It's been emotional
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”

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