Epic Movie Quotes

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What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
I see dead people
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
It's been emotional
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
Time to nut up or shut up!
I tea-bagged your drum set!
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
I fart in your general direction.
If He Dies.. He Dies
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Let off some steam, Bennett.
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Get away from her, you bitch!
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Show Me the Money!
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
That's A Spicy Meatball!
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Are you not entertained?
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
I drink your milkshake!
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
You stand your ground and fight!
Sanka... you dead?
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
I have got to get me one of these!
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Give these people air!
Attica! Attica!
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
I'm a stallion, baby!
Dodge this.
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
They're filming midgets!
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
Back off, man. I’m a scientist

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