Epic Movie Quotes

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What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I fart in your general direction.
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
They're filming midgets!
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
That's A Spicy Meatball!
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
Get away from her, you bitch!
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Sanka... you dead?
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
I drink your milkshake!
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
It's been emotional
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
If He Dies.. He Dies
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Time to nut up or shut up!
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
Dodge this.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
I see dead people
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
I have got to get me one of these!
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
Show Me the Money!
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Give these people air!
Are you not entertained?
Let off some steam, Bennett.
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
Attica! Attica!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
I'm a stallion, baby!
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
You stand your ground and fight!
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'

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