Epic Movie Quotes

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You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
Are you not entertained?
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
They're filming midgets!
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
It's been emotional
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Time to nut up or shut up!
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
Show Me the Money!
Give these people air!
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
A boy's best friend is his mother.
Let off some steam, Bennett.
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Sanka... you dead?
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
You stand your ground and fight!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
Dodge this.
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I drink your milkshake!
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
I have got to get me one of these!
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
If He Dies.. He Dies
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
I fart in your general direction.
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
That's A Spicy Meatball!
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
I'm a stallion, baby!
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
Attica! Attica!
Get away from her, you bitch!
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I see dead people
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
I was 27 years old the first time I died.

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