Epic Movie Quotes

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Carpe diem, seize the day boys
You stand your ground and fight!
I have got to get me one of these!
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
I drink your milkshake!
Show Me the Money!
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
It's been emotional
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
Attica! Attica!
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
That's A Spicy Meatball!
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
I fart in your general direction.
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
Let off some steam, Bennett.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
Time to nut up or shut up!
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
I see dead people
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
I'm a stallion, baby!
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
Sanka... you dead?
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
They're filming midgets!
If He Dies.. He Dies
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Dodge this.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Get away from her, you bitch!
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
Are you not entertained?
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
Give these people air!
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one

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