Epic Movie Quotes

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This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
Show Me the Money!
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
I fart in your general direction.
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
I have got to get me one of these!
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
You stand your ground and fight!
They're filming midgets!
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
If He Dies.. He Dies
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
I wish I knew how to quit you.
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
Are you not entertained?
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Get away from her, you bitch!
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
Sanka... you dead?
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
That's A Spicy Meatball!
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
I drink your milkshake!
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
It's been emotional
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I'm a stallion, baby!
I see dead people
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
Give these people air!
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Time to nut up or shut up!
Let off some steam, Bennett.
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Attica! Attica!
A boy's best friend is his mother.
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Dodge this.
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

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