Epic Movie Quotes

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I was 27 years old the first time I died.
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
Show Me the Money!
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
I'm a stallion, baby!
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Dodge this.
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
That's A Spicy Meatball!
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Attica! Attica!
I drink your milkshake!
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
I fart in your general direction.
I have got to get me one of these!
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
If He Dies.. He Dies
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
Give these people air!
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
They're filming midgets!
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
You stand your ground and fight!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
It's been emotional
Time to nut up or shut up!
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Get away from her, you bitch!
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Let off some steam, Bennett.
I see dead people
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Sanka... you dead?
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Are you not entertained?
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over

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