Epic Movie Quotes

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I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
Dodge this.
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
You stand your ground and fight!
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
Let off some steam, Bennett.
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
Time to nut up or shut up!
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
If He Dies.. He Dies
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
A boy's best friend is his mother.
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
It's been emotional
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
Sanka... you dead?
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
Get away from her, you bitch!
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Are you not entertained?
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
I tea-bagged your drum set!
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
That's A Spicy Meatball!
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
Attica! Attica!
I see dead people
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
I have got to get me one of these!
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
They're filming midgets!
Show Me the Money!
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Give these people air!
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
I'm a stallion, baby!
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
I fart in your general direction.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
I drink your milkshake!
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.

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