Epic Movie Quotes

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Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
Show Me the Money!
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I have got to get me one of these!
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
Get away from her, you bitch!
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
Give these people air!
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
I see dead people
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
Time to nut up or shut up!
I'm a stallion, baby!
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
A boy's best friend is his mother.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Are you not entertained?
I tea-bagged your drum set!
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
Let off some steam, Bennett.
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
If He Dies.. He Dies
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
They're filming midgets!
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
I drink your milkshake!
You stand your ground and fight!
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Attica! Attica!
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
I fart in your general direction.
It's been emotional
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
Sanka... you dead?
That's A Spicy Meatball!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Dodge this.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.

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