Epic Movie Quotes

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I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
I fart in your general direction.
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
I have got to get me one of these!
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
Dodge this.
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
A boy's best friend is his mother.
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Attica! Attica!
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
That's A Spicy Meatball!
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
Sanka... you dead?
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
Time to nut up or shut up!
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
I see dead people
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Give these people air!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
You stand your ground and fight!
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
I tea-bagged your drum set!
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
Get away from her, you bitch!
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Let off some steam, Bennett.
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
They're filming midgets!
Show Me the Money!
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
If He Dies.. He Dies
It's been emotional
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
I drink your milkshake!
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
I'm a stallion, baby!
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
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