Epic Movie Quotes

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A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
It's been emotional
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
Time to nut up or shut up!
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
Let off some steam, Bennett.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
Show Me the Money!
They're filming midgets!
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
I tea-bagged your drum set!
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
I'm a stallion, baby!
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
I have got to get me one of these!
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
If He Dies.. He Dies
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
Dodge this.
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
You stand your ground and fight!
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
Sanka... you dead?
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
That's A Spicy Meatball!
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
I see dead people
I fart in your general direction.
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
Attica! Attica!
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Get away from her, you bitch!
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
A boy's best friend is his mother.
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
I drink your milkshake!
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Give these people air!
Are you not entertained?
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!

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