Epic Movie Quotes

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You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
Are you not entertained?
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
I see dead people
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
I'm a stallion, baby!
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
I have got to get me one of these!
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
Time to nut up or shut up!
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
That's A Spicy Meatball!
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
If He Dies.. He Dies
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Sanka... you dead?
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
I fart in your general direction.
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
I drink your milkshake!
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
Dodge this.
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
Get away from her, you bitch!
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
You stand your ground and fight!
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
Let off some steam, Bennett.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Attica! Attica!
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
Give these people air!
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
It's been emotional
I wish I knew how to quit you.
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
They're filming midgets!
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
Show Me the Money!
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

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