Epic Movie Quotes

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How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
Give these people air!
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
Get away from her, you bitch!
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
I tea-bagged your drum set!
I have got to get me one of these!
Time to nut up or shut up!
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
I see dead people
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Dodge this.
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
They're filming midgets!
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
I'm a stallion, baby!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
It's been emotional
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
I fart in your general direction.
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I drink your milkshake!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Are you not entertained?
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
If He Dies.. He Dies
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
Let off some steam, Bennett.
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
Sanka... you dead?
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
Show Me the Money!
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
You stand your ground and fight!
That's A Spicy Meatball!
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
Attica! Attica!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.

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