Epic Movie Quotes

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I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
I see dead people
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
Give these people air!
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
Time to nut up or shut up!
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
I wish I knew how to quit you.
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
I have got to get me one of these!
If He Dies.. He Dies
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
They're filming midgets!
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Attica! Attica!
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
Let off some steam, Bennett.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
You stand your ground and fight!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
Get away from her, you bitch!
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
Are you not entertained?
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
I drink your milkshake!
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
That's A Spicy Meatball!
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
Sanka... you dead?
I'm a stallion, baby!
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Show Me the Money!
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
I fart in your general direction.
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Dodge this.
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
It's been emotional
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!

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