Epic Movie Quotes

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We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
I'm a stallion, baby!
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
Show Me the Money!
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
If He Dies.. He Dies
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
Dodge this.
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Attica! Attica!
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
I see dead people
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
I fart in your general direction.
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
Time to nut up or shut up!
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
It's been emotional
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
Sanka... you dead?
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Get away from her, you bitch!
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
I have got to get me one of these!
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
You stand your ground and fight!
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
That's A Spicy Meatball!
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
Give these people air!
Are you not entertained?
I tea-bagged your drum set!
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
A boy's best friend is his mother.
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
They're filming midgets!
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
I drink your milkshake!
Let off some steam, Bennett.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun

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