Epic Movie Quotes

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Dodge this.
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's move.
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
Show Me the Money!
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look GOOD.
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!
Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again..... Ever.
We can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
You stand your ground and fight!
Would you please put some pants on? I feel kinda weird having to ask you twice
I don't care if he's Muhammad 'I'm hard' Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me?
I just sharted....I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out
People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them aswel
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu*ker, say what one more Goddamn time!
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em..... Mama!
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
They're filming midgets!
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
I tea-bagged your drum set!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood....nobody!
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
I'm a stallion, baby!
Damnit! Why didn't I concur?!
I drink your milkshake!
There never was much hope...just a fool's hope
Are you not entertained?
You think I'm fu*king around here? Mark it zero!
You remind me of my father..... I HATED my father!
Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch.
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
Vanity... definitely my favorite sin.
Ten oughta do it, don't you think? ...You think we need one more?..You think we need one more..All right, we'll get one more..
Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part
Get away from her, you bitch!
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Give these people air!
Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
Most people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you, not any more.......GAME OVER!
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!
I have got to get me one of these!
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.”
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, 'Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.
In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she won't know whether to sh*t or wind her wristwatch
This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fu*king gun
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
I got her number. How do you like them apples?
An old man dies. A young woman lives....fair trade.
A boy's best friend is his mother.
I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
How 'bout no... you crazy Dutch bastard?
Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.'
I'm going to count to three... there will not be a four
Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
King Kong ain't got sh*t on me
'Mein Führer! I can walk!
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter.'
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either
Put... the bunny... back... in the box
Of Course I'm Home. I'm Always Home. I'm Uncool.
Time to nut up or shut up!
If He Dies.. He Dies
When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door.
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer
I'm going to give you the choice... I never had
Sanka... you dead?
Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
You are not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.
I see dead people
You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.
I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing.
It's like looking in a mirror...only....not.
I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste
Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it?
Mediocrities everywhere... I absolve you
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family
I want you to hit me.. as hard as you can.
Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.
You best start believing in ghost stories..You're in one
I was 27 years old the first time I died.
That's A Spicy Meatball!
I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big di*k and I say when we roll.
I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner
I fart in your general direction.
Let off some steam, Bennett.
I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.
When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fu*k the lemons,' and bail.
What we've got here is... failure to communicate.
Back off, man. I’m a scientist
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon!
I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.
Attica! Attica!
I said he'll flip you...Flip you. Flip ya for real
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Ma! The meatloaf! Fu*k!
If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters...That was a pretty good day
Carpe diem, seize the day boys
It's been emotional

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