The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fu*ked.

I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fu*king bastard.

Did you just call me a fu*kass? You can go suck a fu*k.

Now go home and get your fu*kin' shinebox.

That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fu*k up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fu*ker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda.

Our target: microprocessors. Yes, those... I don't know what they are, you don't know what they are, who gives a fu*k?

That's for John Lennon, you Yankee fu*kin' c*nt

Go f*ck yourself, San Diego.

Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fu*kin' rock this sh*t!

Well f*ck my ozone.

You climb obstacles like old people f*ck!

Yippee ki-yay, motherfu*ker!

I wanna f*ck. It's my fu*king big dick. Who wants to f*ck?

If you come near Danny again, I will feed you your fu*king heart, Cameron.

This job would be great if it wasn't for the fu*king customers.

Now I want you to take a step back... and literally fu*k your own face!

You wanna fu*k with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!

Oh, fu*k! I keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger! How the fu*k did he get in there?

You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so sh*t-faced last night, I shouldn't have fu*ked that guy?' We could be that mistake!

Do you see what happens, Larry? Do you see what happens when you fu*k a stranger in the ass?!

Give me the fu*king keys, you fu*king cocksucking motherfu*ker, aaarrrghh.

Is this some white c*nt's joke that black cu*ts don't get? 'Cause Im not fu*king laughing Ni-ko-las!

Your mother sucks fu*king big fu*king elephant dicks, you got that?

Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherf*cking snakes on this motherf*cking plane.

A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, 'Get the fu*k out of here.'

Goddamn it, BILL FU*KING MURRAY!... I had to get that out. I don't mean to gush.

You're there in 30 minutes, Jerry, or I find you and I shoot you and I shoot your fu*kin' wife and I shoot all your fu*kin' children and I shoot them all in the back of the head.

Look, she gave your husband a rim job. Big fu*kin' deal! I'm sure he was begging for it, and I heard it was like a pencil anyway.

The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your fu*king head.

When life gives you lemons, just say 'F*ck the lemons,' and bail.

What kind of beer do you like? Heineken? Fu*k that sh*t

Jesus Christ! D'you nuts wanna play cards or do ya wanna fu*kin' jerk off?

America, fu*k yeah! So lick my butt and suck on my balls!