| Quotes | Line | Episode |
| Women be (...)! | |
| I want the (...). That's the thing I bought myself, I'm really psyched to use it. | |
| And I said, 'Oh my god, I think the (...) could clinch the NFC East.' And she said that we're done. | |
| I don't like getting advice from more than 1 person at a time. I'm a textbook (...). | |
| If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I will be one rich (...). | |
| I love fake boobs. Often times you find them on (...). | |
| Wait, back up. Do you think that I'm (...)? | |
| I am totally gonna (...) Holly. | |
| [Pam: Guys my mom is coming in today and...] Kevin: (...). | |
| Little old man (...). | |
| Hello, Oscar, how was your (...)? | |
| Dunder Mifflin, this is Kevin, I'll transfer you: Oscar! Your (...)! | |
| I just wanna lie on the (...) and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted. | |
| | Quotes | Line | Episode |
| It smells like (...). | |
| It's like eating a hot (...) of garbage. | |
| I got a (...) for Pam and Roy, do I have to get another one? | |
| Okay, okay! I ate the (...) part, now can I be done? | |
| Nope, it's not Ashton Kutcher, it's Kevin Malone! Equally (...), equally smart. | |
| I was (...) heaven! | |
| I wanna be wined, and dined, and (...). | |
| Is it (...)? Because that would be hilarious. | |
| C is for (...)! | |
| He lives on Sesame Street, you (...). | |
| I'm not gay. I'm (...). | |
| WHAT DOES A (...) MEAN?! | |
| Who started the rumor that there is another person inside of me, WORKING ME WITH (...)?! | |
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