X-Files teasers (prologues, cold opens, etc.)

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Can you name the 'X-Files' episode based on what happens in the opening teaser (MOTW-only)?

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While most people claw at their eyes, one guy does something more drastic...5
A faculty meeting ends with a Satanic prayer2
Two well-dressed missionaries rough each other up BADLY7
A terrified cop gets into his car, only to have it flipped over7
A truck disappears—wait, never mind *CRASH*3
Two men in the woods see some red eyes on the ground...5
A man walks out of a burning car and into a bystander8
Two men train guns on each other, then on themselves...1
Mulder is shot, then the whole place goes up6
The 11:46 bus comes right on schedule4
A writer pulls something out of his chest that should not come out6
A detective talks to a little girl, then goes out the window1
As a man dies, Scully's watch starts going the wrong way8
Suicide via boiling water is unsuccessful, but at least the boiling part goes well3
A killer strikes again, while a slot machine finally pays out9
After some airport trouble, a guy bleeds all over his hotel bed8
A ghostly vision at a bowling alley4
'Dead guy loves me, dead guy loves me not...'3
An apparently dead prison inmate blinks1
Reyes gets her throat slit over there, Doggett gets shot over here9
Firefighters find a dead guy, but no fire2
An amnesiac wakes up in Mexico...9
Mulder kills a vampire (or not)5
Bunch of stuff floating in the ocean...and then there's Mulder6
A balloon leads a boy to some train tracks...2
Mulder sees a killer coming straight at him...and then loses him4
A three-eyed man with an axe8
Scully sees her father on the couch, then gets a phone call...1
A liposuction goes horribly, horribly right (mwahahaha)4
A man sees a human-shaped pile of dirt on his bed, then turns around...7

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