| Quote | Character |
|---|
| We do safety training every year. Or after an accident. We've never made it a full year... | |
| Wow, that is really... hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so... | |
| I wasn't really planning on leaving; all I wanted was a raise. How on earth did Michael call my bluff? Is he some sort of secret genius? [laughs] Sometimes I say crazy things... | |
| Michael, nine different people emailed me that photo, including my ex-wife and... we don't talk... | |
| My family was on a safari in Africa, and my cousin Mufasa was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeests. We all took it really hard, all of us kind of in the audience... | |
| Every little boy dreams of his fairytale wedding... | |
| The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away, but you have to stare at it because your boss is forcing you... | |
| The Dundies are kind of like a kid's birthday party, and you go, and there's really nothing for you to do there, but the kid's having a really good time, so you're kind of there. | |
| My first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified... | |
| | Quote | Character |
|---|
| I'm excited about doing the ad but I'm not really used to doing videos with so many people around... | |
| Darryl Philbin is the most complicated man that I have ever met. I mean, who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of game is that? | |
| The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive. Like I did when I was a homeless man... | |
| Yes, I put Michael in my wedding. It was the only way I could think of to get six weeks off for my honeymoon. No one else has ever gotten six weeks before... | |
| My worst break-up was with Stacy. It was a Sunday morning, we were reading the paper, I said, Oh my god, I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East. And she said that we're done. | |
| All right! You want to have a kid? Let's have a f@#$ing kid! | |
| I don't want to blame anyone in particular; I think everyone's to blame... | |
| Well, happy birthday Jesus, sorry your party was so lame... | |
|
Seinfeld Characters
Dunder Mifflin Branches
The Office Surnames
