Comedian Quotes

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Can you name the Comedian Quotes?

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Dane Cook, Mike Birbiglia, Mitch Hedberg
Pachoo!
I'm gonna open up a chain of chair, lunch, dinners.
Keep tellin' yourselves you did it so your shirt fits better.
Thanks for the candy.
We're gonna go fight strawberry shortacake land.
I haven't slept for two days...because that would be too long.
Like fun are you going to the mall.
It's fifteen f*****g cents! Fifteen! Think about it!
I gave a commencement speech at a high school recently...and that didn't go well...at all.
They could take sesame seeds off the market and I wouldn't even care.

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