| Quote | Movie | Year |
| 'I nailed the audish, but I didn't get it. You know who did? Yo-Yo Ma's cousin, little nepotis' | |
| 'Sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?' | |
| 'Do you want to get naked and start the revolution?' | |
| 'Dude, if you get the nachos stuck together, that's, one nacho.' | |
| 'Skidouche' | |
| 'Kinda like Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, before she got Stamosed.' | |
| 'Oh, yeah. Bring on the spall, baby. Hey, I wonder when we're gonna... ' | |
| 'Did he just call you a piece of underwear? ' | |
| 'I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy.' | |
| 'Those eggs were a lie, Esqueleto. A LIE! They give me no eagle powers! The give me no nutrients! ' | |