How I Met Your Mother: The Classic Quotes

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Can you name the How I Met Your Mother Classic Quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
Haaaaave you met Ted?
I would have stolen you a whole orchestra.
On Monday I'm going to have to tell my kindergarten class, who I tell not to run with scissors, how my fiancee ran me through with a broadsword.
Relapse five! That's when we high five, then it's awkward for a little bit, and then we high five again.
Are you going to cry? You're going to cry? Skinny little baby's going to cry? Eat, damnit, eat!
I'm not afraid of Sasquatch, I just think we should all be on alert.
Barney: Do you know why I haven't given you any of your possessions back yet? ______: Uh, because you're Admiral Jerk of the British Royal Douchery?
If you died, I'd just come back and haunt your penis.
Breakfast isn't girly! Lunch isn't girly! How can brunch be girly?
It's gonna be legend-... wait for it... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!
It's legendary -wait for it- dary.
_____: Today I yelled at a little girl for painting a rainbow. Ted: A rainbow? Sounds like that bitch had it coming.
QuoteCharacter
She's 1,000 degrees. It's like putting my leg against a tail pipe
If you want, we can go to the same bar, drink the same beer, talk to the same people every day or can lick the Liberty Bell. You can grab life by the crack & lick the crap out of i
Have you ever seen a raindance?
You know when you're a kid and put everything into hockey terms? 'the blue line' is kissing, 'the red line' is getting naked & I think 'in the crease' pretty much speaks for itself
Story of my life. My cuteness interferes with people hearing my message.
My nose isn't running. It's just overflowing with awesomeness, and it had to come out
'New York City is the best city in the whole wide world, where dreams come true and pigeon poop tastes like tapioca!' Wanna know a little secret, Ted? New Jersey is better than NY
Bollocks
Where most people's shame gland is, I have a second awesome gland. True story.
Babies are scary, ok. They have giant eyes, and come on, the soft spot? If there's gonna be a self destruct button at least hide is somewhere it wouldn't accidentally get pressed!
I'm cuddly, bitch. Deal with it.
_____: A hug is like a dry hump in public. Marshall: I think you're hugging wrong.

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