| Quote | Character |
| 'Give her [Professor Umbridge] hell from us, Peeves.' | |
| 'Oh, I'm going to KILL Mundungus Fletcher!' | |
| 'You know, this is precisely why I LOATHED being a teacher! Young people are so infernally convinced that they are absolutely right about everything.' (Said to Harry) | |
| 'But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they [the Ministry of Magic] do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.' | |
| 'How long have you been 'Big D' then? Cool name...but you'll always be Ickle Diddykins to me.' | |
| 'It sounds as though you've been trying to sew your skin back together, but even you, Arthur, wouldn't be THAT stupid–WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA?' | |
| 'Crabbe, loosen your hold a little, if Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork...' | |
| 'It's [a Gryffindor lion's head hat] good, isn't it? I wanted to have it chewing up a serpent to represent Slytherin, you know, but there wasn't time.' | |
| 'You can put them [photographs] in envelopes...I am not forgotten...I still receive a very great deal of fan mail...Gladys Gudgeon writes weekly...I just wish I knew why...' | |
| 'Yes, as gamekeeper fresh air must be so difficult to come by.' (Said to Hagrid) | |
| | Quote | Character |
| 'Potter, I will assist you to become an Auror if it is the last thing I do! If I have to coach you nightly I will make sure you achieve the required results!' | |
| 'I'll look for him [Kreacher] later, I expect I'll find him upstairs crying his eyes out over my mother's old bloomers or something...' | |
| 'Approval for Whipping...Approval for Whipping...I can do it at last...They've [Fred and George Weasley] had it coming to them for years...' | |
| 'Don't put your wand there, boy! What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!' (Said to Harry) | |
| 'Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.' (Said to Ron) | |
| 'I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him, he hates writing...I...must...not...look...like...a...baboon's...backside...' | |
| 'By all means continue destroying my possessions. I daresay I have too many.' (Said to Harry) | |
| 'Ouch–gerroff–gerroff, you mad old bat!' (Said to Mrs. Figg) | |
| 'Hello, Harry...We thought we heard your dulcet tones.' | |
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