Funny Harry Potter book/movie quotes - who said them?

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Can you name the Harry Potter character who said it??

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QuoteWho said it?Book
It's really thanks to Malfoy here that I've got it. ('It' is an item for class.)1
They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall. Want to come upstairs and practice?1
Name both people. Person 1: Blown up a toilet? We’ve never blown up a toilet. Person 2: Great idea though, thanks, Mom.1
Isn't he beautiful? Oh, bless him! Look! He knows his mummy!1
I haven't eaten for nearly four hundred years1
Are you ghoulie or ghostie, or wee student beastie?1
It's not a stoat sandwich, is it?1
When it bit me, he told me off for frightening it, and when I left, he was singing it a lullaby.1
What happened down in the dungeon between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret. So, naturally, the whole school knows.1
If that dolt of a cousin of yours, Dudley, gives you any grief, you could always, um, threaten him with a nice pair of ears to go with that tail of his.1
'Nibbles?' he said sweetly, offering them a bowl of peanuts covered in fungus.2
But I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!2
Azkaban – the wizard prison, Goyle. Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backwards.2
They want me to tap-dance, and I don't want to tap-dance! 2
'Do I look stupid?' he snarled, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache.2
Wait till everyone finds out you've got a tail!2
Time to split up the dream team, I think.2
A Study of Hogwarts' Prefects and Their Later Careers. That sounds fascinating.2
Really Severus, I see no reason to stop the boy playing Quidditch. This cat wasn't hit over the head with a broomstick.2
Make way for the Heir of Slytherin. Seriously evil wizard coming through. (Said by two characters intermittently.)2
Harry, this is no time to be a gentleman! Knock her off her broom if you have to!3
We tried to shut him up in a pyramid, but mum spotted us.3
Tripe, Sybill?3
Who's person 2? Person 1, referring to Person 3: Don't be a fool. Person 2: He can't help it. It's a habit by now.3
I assure you, that if you die, you need not turn it in.3
QuoteWho said it?Book
C'mon. We'll walk you off the Astronomy Tower and see how you come out looking.3
If you must know, I have seen that poor Professor Lupin will not be with us for very long. He seems aware, himself, that his time is short. He positively fled when I offered to cry3
Neville, you're supposed to stroke it!3
We don't send people to Azkaban just for blowing up their aunts!3
Here in this room, you will discover if you possess the Sight! (Stands up and bumps into her table.)3
I'm telling you, that's not a normal girl! They don't make them like that at Hogwarts!4
But, sir, they has made a mistake in the shop, Harry Potter. They is giving you two the same!4
And you think we want to walk around wearing badges saying 'spew', do you?4
Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt.4
Just because it's taken you three years to notice doesn't mean no one else has spotted I'm a girl!4
Fine, Go naked. And, Harry, make sure you get a picture of him. Goodness knows I could do with a laugh.4
Twitchy little ferret, aren't you, Malfoy?4
Can I have a look at Uranus, too, Lavender?4
And that, boys, is why you should never go for looks alone.4
Well, I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive. Who wouldn't want pets that can burn, sting, and bite all at once?4
My dear, you were undoubtedly stimulated by the extraordinary clairvoyant vibrations of my room!4
Of course, he might have crawled up into the airing cupboard and died. But I mustn't get my hopes up.5
Well, I'm terrified now. I suppose Lord Voldemort's just a warm-up act compared to you three.5
Why, it's Potty Wee Potter!5
I must say, I'm looking forward to seeing Malfoy's mother's face when he gets off the train.5
Thank you so much, professor! I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn't sure whether I had the authority.5
Harry heard this person saying, 'It unscrews the other way,' re the loosening of a crystal chandelier.5
I'm Sorry Professor, but I Must Not Tell Lies.5
Ah, of course! There is no need to tell me any more, Ms. Granger. Which one of you will be dying this year?5
Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are.6
QuoteWho said it?Book
When asked what their dearest ambition was, this person replied, 'To find out how aeroplanes stay up.'6
Nobody’s ever asked me to a party before, as a friend! Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine too?6
Don't worry, Won-Won! I'm here. I'm here.6
I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail. Much more macho.6
But before he went loopy he was the life and soul of the party. He used to down an entire bottle of Firewisky, then run on to the dance floor, hoist up his robes and start pulling 6
Oh, come and stir my cauldron, and if you do it right, I'll boil you up some hot, strong love to keep you warm tonight.6
Believe me, being dead will have improved him a lot.6
A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where.6
She's seeing someone. Jealous type. Big bloke. You wouldn't want to cross him. (In response to a male who shows an interest in a certain female.)6
He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.7
Yeah, 'ear, 'ear.7
She's nutty as squirrel poo.7
Oh, I don't know! Rack your brains. That should only take a couple of seconds.7
Norbert? The Norwegian Ridgeback? We call her Norberta now.7
Hello, Minister! Did I mention I'm resigning?7
Bah. Bill, don't look at me. I'm 'ideous.7
It's a goat, idiot!7
Vot is the point of being an international Quidditch player if all the good-looking girls are taken?7
We did it. We bashed them. Wee Potter's the one. And Voldy's gone moldy so now lets have fun!7
If you're not in Gryffindor, we'll disinherit you, but no pressure.Epilogue
I can't walk into Herbology and give him love. (Full name.)Epilogue
I thought they were invisible. You said they were invisible! (Full name.)Epilogue
(When asked why everyone was staring): 'Don't let it worry you. It's me. I'm extremely famous.' (Full name.)Epilogue

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Created Jun 19, 2010ReportNominate
Tags:book, quote, character, funny