|The script says...||The movie is...|
|FADE IN ON: |
THIS KID lying in bed, coughing. Pale, one sick cookie. Maybe he's seven or eight or nine. He holds a remote in one hand, presses it, and a video game moves.
|BOMBING LONDON |
MRS. PEVENSIE Edmund Get Away from there! What do you think you're doing?! Peter! PETER (grabs Edmund) Come on! To the shelter, now!
|SUPER-FUNKY BLAXPLOITATION-STYLE MUSIC |
which builds to an exciting crescendo filling us with the expectation of a thrilling opening sequence. Instead we get: INT. SETH'S CAR
|FADE IN: MS -- Dorothy stoops down to Toto -- speaks to him -- then runs down road to b.g. -- Toto following -- DOROTHY She isn't coming yet, Toto. Did she hurt you?|
|INT. BARBIZON PLAZA THEATRE - DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT (1964) |
JAKE LAMOTTA, wearing a tux, is shadow-boxing.
|INT. WELTON ACADEMY HALLWAY - DAY |
A young boy, dressed in a school uniform and cap, fidgets as his mother adjusts his tie. MOTHER 'Now remember, keep your shoulders back.'
|FADE IN: EXT. OMAHA BEACH - NORMANDY - DAWN |
The ROAR OF NAVAL GUNS now WE SEE THEM FIRING. Huge fifteen inch guns. SWARM OF LANDING CRAFT Heads directly into a nightmare.
|FADE IN: NIGHT SEQUENCE |
Series of shots of various streets and buildings in the town of Bedford Falls, somewhere in New York State. It is Christmas Eve.
|EXT. WOODS. DAY |
An apple tree stands alone at the top of a hill. A handsome fox dressed in an Edwardian-style navy velvet suit leans against it with his arms folded.
|INT. BATHROOM, YORK HOUSE, LONDON - DAY (MID-1930'S) |
A shimmering surface of cold water - held in an immense, free standing, white enamelled bathtub with gilded lion's legs
|FADE IN: WE ARE FLYING through mist, a dimly glimpsed forest below. |
VOICE (V.O.) When I was lying there in the VA hospital, with a big hole blown through the middle of my life
|EXT. GALAXY - PLANET HOTH |
A Star Destroyer moves through space, releasing Imperial probe robots from its underside.
|The script says...||The movie is...|
|EXT. VALLEY -- DAY |
A MYSTERIOUS WARRIOR treks across the rugged landscape. NARRATOR (V.O.) Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose Kung Fu skills were the stuff of legend.
|FADE IN: TITLES APPEAR ON BLACK B.G. |
We WIDEN to reveal that the black b.g. is the sludge-clogged Cuyahoga River. We TILT UP from the river to reveal the city of Cleveland.
|INT. DR. EVIL'S PRIVATE QUARTERS - DAY |
The lair is 1960's high-tech. We see a huge oversized conference table with six scary-looking EVIL ASSOCIATES.
|INT. JIM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT |
PAN across details in a bedroom...we see discarded shirts...pants...socks...and hear PORNO-CHANNEL CHICK (V.O.) Oooh, yeah. Oh, baby, you're so good
|EXT. TERMINAL BUILDING - PASSENGER LOADING ZONE - NIGHT |
Airport bus arrives. Stewardess ELAINE DICKINSON steps off. CAMERA FOLLOWS Elaine as she walks to terminal building.
|FADE IN: INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM |
A row of moving boxes lie on the floor of the room. They are drawn up in crayon to look like a miniature Western town.
|EXT. BOAT - DAY |
Illegal Costa Rican parasail operator helps Americans BEN HILDEBRAND and twelve-year-old ERIC KIRBY strap themselves into a two- person PARASAIL HARNESS.
|FADE IN: EXT. FOREST - DAY |
Germania. The far reaches of the Roman Empire. Winter 180 A.D. Incongruously enough, the first sound we hear is a beautiful tenor voice. Singing.
|EXT. FOREST - DAWN |
Bare as all hell. The trees stripped of their bark. A CAT prowls across the dead earth. Barely recognizable as the domestic breed it might once have been.
|FADE IN: EXT. CITYSCAPE - NIGHT |
The place is Gotham City. The time, 1987 -- once removed.
|EXT. BUILDING - DAY |
We DISSOLVE from the photograph to Uberman standing in the exact same position. WE PULL BACK showing him atop a BUILDING overlooking the city below.
|EXT. ROAD -- TEXAS/MEXICO BORDER -- NIGHT |
An insect dips, it banks, it loops - and then SPLATS unceremoniously against the windshield of a van that's tearing down the road.